1.) Salmonella found in Dutch fish- smoked salmon produced by a company called Foppen that is sold in the USA as well as in the Netherlands. Several hundred people both in the US and the Netherlands were infected. No deaths reported.

2.) A woman sought in Sarasota Florida who was photographed riding/trying to ride a manatee. It is a Federal offense to touch/disturb them.

3.) Oregon farmer, Terry Vance Garner, 69, eaten by his pigs. Terry went out to feed his pigs and never returned. Family members who went looking for him found his dentures, blood and few remains. (Ugh! Please do NOT turn these guys into ham hocks and bacon!)

4.) J.P Morgan faces $20bn fraud suit. This is the first action to come out of a working group created by Pres.Obama investigating the 2008 financial crash.

5.) Mars images show old stream bed. NASA's Curiosity is sending back all sorts of neat images.


6.) U.S. airline finds loose seats. Passenger seats coming loose IN FLIGHT (on American Airlines, one flight was from Boston to Miami and at least two other flights to/from other destinations involved) causes the FAA to request that planes be inspected- and lo and behold, they find more loose seats!

7.) 14 year-old teen girl in Lakeland, FL, chokes 9.5 pound newborn infant to death with umbilical cord, then hid him in a shoebox in her closet.

Wish I could have found a few funny headlines, but the closest to humor was the fat woman trying to ride the manatee... at least I hope all she was doing was trying to ride it!
(Shame on you, Dottie! You can be disgusting!)