Someone ate my last chocolate pudding! So I have to settle for a sugar free Jell-O cup. ICK! I stocked up on sugar free about a week ago when I was told I had gestational diabetes.

Yes I was diabetic for about three days until my second lab test came back and declared me non diabetic. The funny thing is for those three days whenever I felt I had too much sugar I would feel so sick and be afraid of going into sugar shock. I am obviously very weak when it comes to the power of suggestion.

I thought I was going to be able to prove a link between my blood sugar and my mood swings. So much for that theory! So far my mood has been able to escape every diagnosis. I guess it is my own little unexplained condition. Like I am that important, it is more like just a little tiny part of the whole human condition!

I had a dream the other night that one of the developmentally disabled women I work with passed away at the exact moment the baby was born and she was zapped into the baby’s body. The baby looked like a normal new born but could talk and had this old ladies voice. The baby looked at me and said "Honey I am ready for my snack."

A few days later in real life one of the women I do work with, but not the same one passed away suddenly. She was only forty something with no apparent health problems.

It was a shock that she just died. I cried selfish tears because I will miss spending time with her, but as far as her death I am happy for her.

She was not a cute woman. She was not someone you would want to throw your arms around. She was the kind of woman that you would look at and think "God please don't let her sit next to me." She was very hard to understand and was legally blind. She was known to be aggressive and lived alone with a bad case of OCD due to years of abuse.

I feel honored that I was her staff for the last six months. Once you got past her uninviting exterior you could see her soul was beautiful. She was a great hostess offering you something to eat and drink if you graced her door step. She had a great sense of humor. She would say I was having a baby cow and call me meat head. I would call her sister and she would call me daughter. I have been missing her a lot.

Her death was just a reminder of how short life is and how a beautiful soul can be trapped in a not so pretty, broken exterior. She never got hugged enough. I hope she is in a world of hugs. Rest in peace Maxine.