Well I am home now from my trip to Los Angeles. The trip all in all was a success. Me and my roadie Ruthy made it down there last Friday. It was a great trip down there, other than the fact we took the scenic rout threw Oregon on old HWY 97. They need to change scenic to "The Most Boring Drive On Earth!". It was ten hours of my life I will never get back.

The first town in Norther California we hit was Weed. Yes I was looking forward to Weed California, but I soon found that it was totally misrepresented by its name and it is not a town I will ever go back too.

Once we got closer to Los Angeles I began to worry about the LA drivers I heard so much about. I was scarred only to find that I love them! The trick to LA freeway driving is to go FAST and I am telling you one of the things I love most in life is to drive fast! I think that if my parents would have been more "White Bread America" I would be driving for NASCAR! The driving was fast, but very synchronized. It was like a ballet on crack! I can say honestly that Seattle driving is much worst. It has all the speed, but you better wear your body armor because it is a brutal mosh pit of angry I haven't seen the sun in three weeks drivers.

We had our Map Quest directions all printed out and were able to make it to the line of comedians outside the Hollywood Improv with no problem. There was a sea of odd balls in tents, lawn chairs and sleeping bags from the Improv down and around the corner right into a posh Hollywood neighborhood. You should have seen the look on the home owners faces as they learned this line was just starting and we would be temporary neighbors. Some were upset, but there was one lonely lady that took it as an opportunity to maybe pick up a man. I have no idea what she was thinking, being that the men are comedians but she was right there offering up the use of her bathroom, warm blankets and what nots to the men in line.

Ruth and I set up our camp and mingled with the line.There was a comedian performing that night inside the Improv that I had wanted to see so we left our camp in the hands of the line to go inside and catch the show. It was fantastic. There are so many details I am leaving out so don't just go on and on such as I got to meet Jr Redwater (Native comic can be seen on Goin Native Comedy special on Showtime) and Craig Robinson (from the office, Pineapple Express and the Goods).

After a night out on the sidewalk, it was time to get ready for the audition. I gave myself a little sponge bath in the rental car and got all spiffed up. While I was getting ready Ruth was suffering from food poisening. She was throwing up and cursing the one armed waiter from the Mexican resraunt we had stopped at the day before.

As NBC set up for filming the comics rushed to tear down tents and look presentable. Once the cameras were out I got to see first hand the makings of a network reality show. There was not too much reality involved. There was a woman running ahead of the camera guys saying "LOOK EXCITED COME ON COME ON!". At that comand the tired comics would cheer and try to shake off the hard night of no sleep and a concrete bed.

If you do watch Last Comic Standing, you will notice all of the freaks dressed as drag queens, big foot and super heroes. These people did not sleep in the line. They arrived that morning in cabs and were escorted into the Improv.

I am not sure how many hundreds comics were in line, but only about thirty to forty got an actual audition. I was lucky enough to get one only for the fact me and Ruth took cuts in line during all of the commotion. I heard a couple of comedians behind me say "Oh sure take cuts. It doesn't bother us, it is just a matter of ethics and morals." I turned around and said "Ok guy, maybe you are in the wrong line, I am not sure where the line for saints is, but this is the comedian line and morals and ethics did not get us here!"

So anyhow I got into do my audition and it was a bust. I was worn down, hungry and overwhelmed. I have more excsuses but that should be sufficent.

NBC did cast ONE guy in the actual line. He was a former NBC employee and seemed to know everyone there. He was a nice guy named Adam, you will see him on the show at some point. He won them over with a diarrhea joke, that I did not find all that funny, but maybe that is my jealousy talking. I don't know.

Me and Ruth went out that night in Hollywood to the HAHA Cafe and had a great time! I got to see JR Redwater and some other great comedians perform. JR let me pick his brain a little and it was fantastic.

We left Los Angeles Monday afternoon. I drove the whole way home. I kept the peddle to the medal and made great time doing 80 to 100mph all the way up California and across Oregon. I got about ten miles out from home when I was pulled over doing five over the limit. Yes welcome home Witchy!