So I was booked for a New Years Eve late afternoon retirement home employee party, employee being the key word. Last night I found out that it was not the employee party, but rather a retirement home resident New Years eve bash at 6:30 pm...

After I let it sink in I thought you know make lemons into lemonade. I love old people. So what I spent weeks coming up with corporate style humor. So what it all meant nothing now that my name doesn't make sense on a name tag or office politics.

My first best friend was a 70 some year old woman named Ms. Miller. She was fantastic we would watch Wheel a Fortune, pick raspberries, laugh and EAT!

I have picked up other random elderly friends along the way and they are wise and so on so.

I showed up tonight to the retirement home feeling very confident in my old folks relations.

Every resident is in this giant dining room, looking very sparkly and semi-conscience.There was various staff going around making sure a every one kept their party hats on.

There was one woman that looked just like the Queen. She was wearing a fur and a tiara. She was laughing when I walked in at nothing obvious.

These folks couldn't even hear me! Their hearing aids kept interfering with the sound system.I asked them "Can you all hear me, and they sat their blank faced or asleep. I could have been reciting a grocery list for all they knew and the Queen sat there laughing away.

One old man seemed to be having a particularly terrible time and I said to him "Sir are you having a good time?" He said "Your going to have to ask my lawyer that!" I don't know what he thinks I was talking about, I am not sure if I am going to be sued, but by the look on his face I decided it was time to wrap it up.

As I made my frantic get away I passed by the Queen and she continued to laugh as I ran out the front doors.

I swear I could still hear her as I pulled into the Walgreen's parking lot. I was searching for change to buy a terrible night recovery candy bar and that laugh was ringing in my ears.

I don't like old people so much right now!

What a way to close 2009.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!