Eddie Fisher, who sang “Oh My Papa” in the Fifties, died Wednesday at 82. It is said that the cause of death was “complications from hip surgery,” which sounds suspiciously like physician error to me. Of course, in America’s hospitals, one can die of acute hangnail these days, in tandem with an institutionally-borne staph infection.

Though I never cared for Fisher’s music, his success with beautiful women bordered on the incomprehensible. The guy’s wives included Debbie Reynolds, Liz Taylor, and Connie Stevens. Of course, they all ended in divorce – plus two more marriages after that – but what a résumé!
I wonder how he missed out on Kim Novak and Doris Day.

Fisher’s greatest accomplishment, perhaps, was his daughter Carrie, a noted female curmudgeon who once said, “Instant gratification takes too long.”

Anyone who doubts Eddie Fisher’s lifetime accomplishments should go visit the Hollywood Walk of Fame where he has TWO stars: one for music and one for TV (he once had his own show). As far as I’m concerned, the guy ought to have THREE stars on the Walk of Fame, except the imprint in the third one should be a body part other than the palm of his hand.