Here is a list of things I really don’t like to do:

Empty the dishwasher. Up, down, up down. Really.

Wash out mayonnaise jars for the recycle (any gooey residue fits).

Tie shoelaces. On or off, same thing. If my sneakers laces are tied (and they would be because I just shuck them off without untying), then I try to swindle my way in when I want to put them on again. Sometimes that works. Or I walk around taller for a few minutes until the heel finally sinks in. (I actually enjoy the tall feeling.) When Ed was driving me before we got the second car, if he was taking me to the massage therapist, I just wouldn’t tie the things to start. Flop, flop. But mostly, lately, I wear clogs … problem solved. I have iridescent rainbow hued clogs that are fantastic. When I scrape them, I repair them with iridescent nail polish. I wear them with my new go-to daily pants: scrubs.

Putting away the really huge salad bowl I use. It goes on top of smaller bowls (I can’t put the smaller ones in the big one because they get stuck.) It weighs a ton. Before we were living here, we rented the house to paying guests one summer. They ignored the Pfaltzgraff heavy dinnerware and used the light traditional dinnerware we inherited with the house. Ed loves Pfaltzgraff. It’s a thing with him. Me, I’m barely strong enough to lift it.

Vacuum. It hurts my back. And after the car hit me, my lower back always hurts not just when I vacuum. I wait until I need Caroline, the woman who cleans for us. Caroline is lovely. She is statuesque, German born, a single mother, works really hard. Only fault: Puts things away where I can’t find them. Once we had a sales outfit clean our floors in an effort to sell us their super-duper vacuum. The sales guy said, “How often do you vacuum” and I answered “Once a year if it’s really necessary.” He wasn't ready for that.

Opening childproof caps on medication bottles. I just read the riot act to the poor clerk who took my order at my mail order prescription outfit. You can indicate you need childproof caps, then they send the medication with the childproof cap and include a regular cap with the order. Can you see why this does not help? I can put my entire weight on the cap, and swivel to open and it doesn’t work. Repeated efforts are rarely successful. If Ed is not at home, I have been known to put the bottle into a plastic bag and then smash it with a hammer.

And if anyone has a solution for this one, I’d be grateful to hear it. I had an aluminum broiler pan that I was able to clean without wasting a quarter of my life doing it. I forgot it in the oven when I heated it one day and it was never the same. I bought a stainless steel one. It takes a lot of elbow grease to clean all the burnt-on spatter and sometimes I have to use vinegar and baking soda paste to really get it clean and there are always places you can’t reach. I have resorted to covering the entire pan with aluminum foil and after nesting the grid in it, I spray it with Pam. This worked for a while, but it too is not foolproof. Also, I can be dyslexic when cooking stuff on the stove top, so I left the pan on the stove while doing other stuff (ceramic top), and put potatoes on to boil and used the wrong knob and the part under the broiler pan heated, not the part under the potatoes. So now I have a huge dark spot in the middle of the pan. It’s rainbow hued, kind of pretty actually, but I’m still annoyed. And the grid is losing its protective coat and looking grungy.

Finally, creating a variety of dishes for dinner is my all-time Achilles’ heel, particularly because the only dinner Ed ever wants is a meat dish. He has lately refused to eat baked chicken. I did make eggplant with ground beef, according to Aussie Girl’s recipe on Facebook. I overcooked the eggplant, but Ed said it was tasty, so I’ll make it again and be more careful with the eggplant.

I think the solution is a live-in cook/maid. But no one’s listening.

xx, Teal


P. S. The post that won't post is political. I used "Politics and Legal" and I used "News Events" and it would not post. But Home and Garden and the Test post under "Computing" worked. So I will try again with the political post tomorrow.