If I were getting married again, I’d first ask for a list of TV programs that are your favorites. Other things being equal, the choices might or might not be a factor. Ed, for instance, loves anything with violence in it, so war movies are at the top of his list. A close second is any old Western movie, even the ones with Vera Hruba Ralston in them, and then there are the contestant programs. The one he watches most lately is a bunch of people making knives. The guru of the program says things like “Your blade won’t cut. You have to leave the forge!” This is akin to telling him his life is over. Lots of fake drama, lots of humble, fearful supplicants who are agonizing over whether they will or will not meet this very high standard of knife making. Lots of teeth grinding as each tries to be the one with the blade that wins. The contestants get to talk about how they will craft their blade. The winner is suitably humble, humble. The host is godawful. If I ever met him, I’d be sure to kick him where it is a given that he would never, ever get to have any more children.


Ed also likes the worm movies, where the worms come out of the ground and devour anyone in the vicinity and they are blind, but can hear you if you move around or talk. He also loves Jaws and its sequel and cheers for the shark to get the teen-agers. Another favorite of his is Jurassic Park and its sequel. I think these movies are big on manufactured drama. I like movies with great dialogue and I particularly like fantasies.


Of course there are also programs we both like – like the house remodeling ones and we watch MSNBC a lot, although my tolerance for letting this go on all day doesn’t get Ed’s vote. And at night, at one minute to 9 p.m., I excuse myself to go into the family room and watch Rachel Maddow and after her, Lawrence O’Donnell. These people keep me sane and hopeful. Meanwhile, Ed stays in the bedroom and streams a western or something. When I heard Florida had a channel devoted to Westerns and a channel devoted to religious programs, I said, “kill me now.”We both like the transporter movies with Jason Statham, and spy movies, and occasionally, Ed will tolerate a romantic comedy.


I wanted Sol to see Bell, Book and Candle, and our dvd copy was lost somewhere so I bought another one on Amazon and finally was able to run it for her. It was a big success. Sol, being Lithuanian born, has few social references that resonate, so I am her go to person for explaining things. The most challenging is informing her why she should care about what is happening politically.


And parenthetically, we are invited to Jean and Danny’s for Christmas. And we are bringing Sol, and today Jean said we could bring Rosa, Ed’s newly acquired 94 year old ward who spent Thanksgiving with us. Jean and Danny are super wonderful, in case I haven’t mentioned it. They have three daughters, the two oldest are scheduled to leave the nest in the coming year. One of them is a commander in the ROTC and is going to pursue a military career. The middle one is going to go to the University of Miami and the youngest is brilliant and on her way to total meltdown or super genius status, it isn’t yet clear. When she is at my house, she re-arranges the furniture, and asks questions about Jay’s telegraph key, direction finder (he bought for the boat we didn't get), and two sextants that now qualify as antiques.

My pal, Toni, came but was vociferous in telling me I didn’t have to feed anyone because they were coming for the company and the view. Of course, I ignored this wisdom and when Toni got here, she ate up a storm.


Jean has invited me to live with her and family if I am ever alone, and that is really kind and caring of her. She considers me a surrogate mom and that is nice because I didn’t have children and having someone in that space is lovely, particularly since I didn’t have to endure all the effort of child rearing. Sol also relates to me as a daughter. Her mom is in Lithuania and struggling with health issues. They skype every day. She is very happy that Sol has us in her corner. When Sol is skyping from my house, I wave at her mom but can’t talk with her because she has no English.

xx, Teal