A fantasy fix came in the mail yesterday, the gem catalog of David Birnbaum (589 Fifth Avenue, New York, 7th fl.) “Dear friend,” the cover letter begins … a little self description ... then “Enclosed is our new Private Stock catalogue. Items in this exceptional Collection are typically from $50,000 to $250,000.

“Our clientele ranges from young bankers to Heads-of-State. I and my senior staff would be honored to work with you, of course.” Translation of this last sentence: If you can’t afford to pay all at once, not to worry, we’ll do terms.

Then the P.S. “Please note that we have other Collections available with items from $300,000 up to $30,000,000.” What a relief. I thought they were nickel and diming us because we are not bankers.

This catalogue, a glossy, 4-color artistic masterpiece in hard silver colored cover, is as breathtaking as it can be. One of the more stunning pieces is a three strand diamond necklace, gathered ¾ of the way down with a criss-crossed sapphire clasp, with the three strands hanging below. Where does one wear such a piece … Prince William's wedding comes to mind, opening night at the Met in New York … an exclusive dinner-dance at the governor’s mansion (not the current Florida governor certainly – at his functions, I’m sure they just check for tattoos). Definitely not on a New York subway train, or to Bert’s Bar down here.

Sorry I am not equipped to digitize and post these photos so I’ll describe just a few more – pear-shaped emerald drop earrings, clips of sapphires and emeralds and rubies edged in diamonds. Diamond rings of “intense yellow” – I didn’t know diamonds came in such a deep yellow.
It is really all right with me that I will not have an occasion to buy from this catalogue. I just enjoy looking … and laughing that we even got on this mailing list. Maybe because we contributed to the Sarasota Opera and they sold our name. Who knows.

xx, Teal