I’m putting away my “Maxine” calendar for 2008 and thought I’d share her pronouncements with you …

Forgive me if I snap at you. I’m myself today.

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve misplaced my keys, there’d be a jarful of money that I’d also have to look for.

Ever notice how the people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place?

I just have three heartfelt words for you on Valentine’s Day … Close the blinds.

I’d get a massage to relieve stress if they could just find a way to do it without touching you.

I wonder if I can take a deduction for all the pencils I snapped in half out of frustration while doing my taxes?

Found something at the swimsuit shop I was really comfortable in. The dressing room.

Taking a family vacation to get away from stress is like running down the railroad track to get away from the train.

When the neighbors play music too loud, I dance naked. Shuts ‘em down pretty quick.

Suffering stress from an unknown origin? You may want to check your diet. If you’re on one, quit.

I’m glad the fast-food drive-thru never gets my order right. I don’t think my heart could take it.

Wouldn’t be the holidays without turkey and some stressing.

xx, T