I was thinking of making some extra money and came up with the following.
My new business card:
I can be bought ...
Semi-retired sex kitten with a keyboard ...
Dirty limericks for your special occasion
Pornography edited, improved upon
Fulminations and diatribes on any subject
At a loss for words? I’ll put words in your mouth.
Fast, reasonable, no moral inhibitions.
Call (etc.)
xx, Teal