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Teal's Modest Adventures

Life & Events > Relationships > Boo Hoo

Boo Hoo

Well, there were the four of us and about once a month we’d meet at a restaurant for lunch and trade stories. Sometimes our conversations would get so animated that other diners would stop eating and listen in. Once, friend two talked about Margrit, Ed's late wife that he had told her about. She kept referring to him as "his wife", and I kept saying, no dear, I'm his wife. It was really hilarious. Then we might visit some stores, and stop for more coffee and 4 hours later there would be hugs all around and we’d all go home.

And then after 10 years of togetherness and loads of fun, we are broken. Friend one and friend two no longer talk to each other. I am close to both and will stay friends with both and am really sorry they have decided to be on the outs with each other. I don't want details and won't take sides.

Then friend no. 3, truly neurotic, although I am very fond of her as well – she too was a dancer – born in Armenia, grew up in Paris, studied ballet there seriously. She is also a phenomenal portrait artist. She has drifted away from us. And in later times, would always cancel at the last minute and not join us. Her reasons were often born of hysteria. As I said, neurotic. Since my school days were fraught with dysfunction, this was the first time ever that I was part of a close knit group of women who loved each other and had fun together.

The pandemic has interfered with me seeing friends one and two. I’ll see each separately when it’s safe. We were diverse and this made it all the more fun – Cairo, Egypt, Paris, Germany, and U.S. born me. Sometimes they’d just all speak French and I didn’t mind at all. Ah, well, it was lovely while it lasted.

xx, Teal

posted on June 6, 2020 10:33 PM ()


I've had 'friends' drop me once they got what they wanted. One used to stop in at any time said she enjoyed it here on the river etc. But once her husband died and she didn't need an excuse to get out the house, she never came back. Another's husband liked to fish here for free, circumventing the fishing club. And there's more instances. I usually think of it as 'their circumstances changed' instead of calling it what it is: they used me, and I should have seen it coming. Now I'm more careful about who I spend my time with.
comment by traveltales on June 7, 2020 1:31 PM ()
I don't feel used, just miss the closeness we once shared. It's like when a family breaks up and you wish they hadn't.
reply by tealstar on July 4, 2020 9:50 AM ()
This post rang a bell with me. Over three years ago, a dear friend of mine with bipolar and anxiety disorders began self-isolating and just vanished from social contact with our small tight group of friends. She doesn't respond or reply to any outreach any of us make. All we each can do from time to time is reach out with a message of friendship and support on her phone message recorder. I especially mourn the loss of our times together.
comment by marta on June 7, 2020 5:15 AM ()
I have a bipolar friend who can't stop drinking and this interferes with her meds. So she gets suicidal and turns herself in (in Florida it's called the Baker Act) and is held for 48 hours until they can stabilize her. She has also drifted away. It could be the age gap, (and she can't bring her boyfriends to my parties - they are very unacceptble).
reply by tealstar on June 7, 2020 6:07 AM ()
I have always had at least one very close woman friend with whom there are no secrets. We have a group of about ten women who used to lunch and have birthday parties. No more, the virus has ruined our get togethers.
Maybe your friends will patch it up, the virus is a ##### we didn't need and it has made us all super frazzled and on edge.
comment by elderjane on June 7, 2020 4:34 AM ()

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