I've been watching the Food Network show "America's Worst Cooks." There are two teams of terrible home cooks--each team of ten is led by a well known chef. Each week someone is eliminated off each team. Sunday night was the semi finals--all had been eliminated except the two home cooks who had shown the most improvement. The finalists had a loved one come on and cheer them on. The winning cook on one team was a lesbian, a sweet nice looking girl. Her cheerleader was her "wife," a butch dyke.

Now this is what puzzles me about that whole scene. If a female doesn't want male lovers, why choose a fat dyke-y looking woman that looks like a man? Why not just get a fat man instead? I remember Jody Foster's photo in a tabloid with ther partner, a fat dyke-y woman. I mean if you're gonna go gay why not choose a pretty woman instead of the butchy ugly women? I think women who choose these mannish women are looking for a mother and/or father figure, all wrapped in one.

Now about those damned bleach bottles--Clorox bottles to be exact. They have those child proof caps. You're supposed to push down and twist to open. Well! I tried and tried to open a bottle and no way was it gonna open. Geeze! I was annoyed to the point that I took a butter knife and heated it up on the stove and tried to pry the cap off, thinking the hot knife tip would soften the cap up. What it did instead was melt a hole in the jug at the top, and in the process, I burned my hand next to my thumb. Damn! So To seal the jug up, I had to put duct tape over the hole. Some bleach brands just have a pull off tab on top which works better.

Then I bought some Lysol gel toilet bowl cleaner with the swan neck you can aim under the rim. So! I followed the directions to push in the top and twist to open it. No gel would squirt out. I pounded the top on the porcelain of the bowl over and over, then took a pair of scissors and dug out what ever was sealing up the squirt hole, getting the stuff on my arm in the process. (The directions for opening the thing was printed on the side of the bottle in teeny tiny white print on a pale blue background. I defy anyone even with 20/20 vision and a magnifying glass to decipher that teensy writing.) Whomever is sitting in those product development meetings in big corporations oughta have Clorox and Lysol gel spurted on them and actually try to open what they're approving to send out to the public.

susil