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Entertainment > Humor > Missing Socks: Part 3
 

Missing Socks: Part 3



 The missing sock phenomenon has had its unique
affect upon the world of science.  Just
as Sir Isaac Newton (1642 – 1727) is
said to have advanced the theory of gravitation after observing a falling
apple, he likewise devised the term “half-life” to describe the depreciating
period of time following the purchase of a pair of socks before one of them
inevitably went missing, the same theory later applied to the fixed, invariable
amount of time it takes half of an original sample of a radioactive substance
like uranium, radium, or carbon-14 to break down.

After the French defeat by the coalition of British
and Prussian troops in the famous Battle of Waterloo in 1815, the word
“waterloo” entered the language as a synonym for a decisive defeat or failure,
just as the word “Watergate,” in a later generation, became synonymous for
failure via criminal or corrupt activity (or as, with George W. Bush, his
infamous “waterboardgate”).  Few realize that Napoleon (1769 -1821) was actually winning what would be a decisive
battle until one sock from his prized pair of “commander socks” turned up
missing and so distracted him that he neglected to reinforce his left flank
where General Wellington pounced.

We all know that part of what was behind the American Revolution was the colonists
being upset over taxation without representation (an early precursor of what we
suffer now).  The final straw, however,
was when a British general bragged publicly that his troops were secretly
entering homes at night and seizing without warrant or just cause single socks
from the sock drawers of known revolutionaries.  The British occupying forces even created a Department called the Bureau
of Missing Socks headed by a Major Fielding, a failed London haberdasher.

More to Come

posted on Mar 13, 2013 6:46 PM ()

Comments:

Your learned discourse on the causes of wars and revolutions must surely
inflate the sock monster's ego. It is fun..go for it!!!
comment by elderjane on Mar 14, 2013 2:27 AM ()
Sock Monster may be a second cousin to Lucifer himself...
reply by steeve on Mar 14, 2013 6:52 AM ()
Earlier in my marriage, it felt like a failure to end up with unmatched socks, so if my husband came up with an odd one, I'd snatch it out of his hand and hide it in the dresser in hopes the mates would show up eventually. Now, I don't care - he can look out for his own socks.
comment by troutbend on Mar 13, 2013 9:03 PM ()
Ah, the insecurities of the new bride...
reply by steeve on Mar 14, 2013 6:50 AM ()
I'm loving this.
comment by nittineedles on Mar 13, 2013 9:00 PM ()
Hang in there...I gonna work a cat into it soon.
reply by steeve on Mar 14, 2013 6:51 AM ()
I once heard that Leonardo da Vinci may have invented the 'modern' sock because the marble floors of Florence and Milan were just too cold. It is probably apocryphal, though.
comment by jondude on Mar 13, 2013 8:41 PM ()
Old Leo is as good a prospect as any...
reply by steeve on Mar 14, 2013 6:51 AM ()

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