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Life & Events > At the Grocery Store

At the Grocery Store

ONE OF THE THINGS I DO that most irritates my wife is when I talk to strangers. Usually I'm trying to be humorous but they often either don't get it or don't find it funny. I know that the general rule is not to speak to people you don't know but sometimes I just can't resist.

Checking out of a grocery store, I couldn't help but notice the cashier's name tag: LYDIA.

"Are you the Lydia with all the tattoos?" I asked her.

My peripheral vision was sufficient to pick up my wife's annoyed glare.

"What?" Her expression was perplexed, expectant.

"Have you ever heard Groucho Marx sing about Lydia the tattooed lady?"

"Groucho Marx?"

"Don't sing it," my wife spat emphatically.

Then, finally out of the store and on the way to the truck: "I can't take you anywhere."

Of course, I whistled a few bars as we unloaded the grocery cart, a cart that had one wheel which was not turning well. We had driven an hour to get to the store. I've concluded that the further you have to drive to get to the grocery store, the more likely it is you'll get a defective grocery cart.

"Lydia, oh Lydia, oh have you met Lydia? Lydia the tattooed ladeeee!"

"Just shut up and drive."

posted on Aug 28, 2013 6:45 PM ()


In a political science study group at my college we were discussing Karl Marx. One of the group members said, "Too bad he wasn't just some funny guy like his brother Groucho."
comment by jondude on Aug 29, 2013 7:12 AM ()
...or an orchestra member like his brother Harpo.
reply by steeve on Aug 29, 2013 7:31 AM ()
I have had some fun conversations in grocery stores.
comment by elderjane on Aug 29, 2013 7:12 AM ()
You're my kinda woman, I can see that.
reply by steeve on Aug 29, 2013 7:30 AM ()
comment by jondude on Aug 29, 2013 7:11 AM ()
...and I was purchasing a bag of "Original" Animal Crackers!!
reply by steeve on Aug 29, 2013 7:30 AM ()
You're bad.
comment by nittineedles on Aug 28, 2013 9:57 PM ()
Just another Day at the Opera...
reply by steeve on Aug 29, 2013 7:29 AM ()
As a matter of fact I have ye old Groucho singing LYDIA as well as SHOW ME A ROSE, he was also a great lover of Gilbert and Sullivan Operette and
recorded some of their songs , absolutely shocking I might add .
Waiting for the chief cook and bottle washer at the markets I usually can strike up a conversation by just saying G'DAY if I only get a grunt back say no more ,
comment by kevinshere on Aug 28, 2013 9:20 PM ()
Comedy has changed so much since Groucho... I loved watching "You Bet Your Life."
reply by steeve on Aug 29, 2013 7:27 AM ()
This is hilarious. I love that song.
comment by troutbend on Aug 28, 2013 8:12 PM ()
"...when her muscles start relaxin' / Up the hill goes Andrew Jackson..."
reply by steeve on Aug 29, 2013 7:25 AM ()
Assuming the cashier was under 45 years old, you didn't really expect her to know what you were talking about, did you?
comment by miker on Aug 28, 2013 7:48 PM ()
Oh, to sip Duck Soup at A Night at the Opera & contemplate Monkey Business such as covering Cocoanuts with Horse Feathers & Animal Crackers...
reply by steeve on Aug 29, 2013 7:24 AM ()

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