I continue to communicate with my sweet friend on almost a daily basis. She  is so broken in spirit right now, and there is precious little any of us can  really do to help her, although she has a wide base of friends who have offered her support and love.br>

Her grief is further compounded by the loss her children have experienced, and I know from my personal life that when our children hurt, we parents hurt a hundred fold for them.br>

That is one reason that I have such empathy for her. I can honestly say that if I had been fortunate enough to have had a third daughter, I would have wanted it to be Alex.  Just as I have always wanted to take the hurt away when one of my children was suffering, I would willingly take her heartache upon myself if it were only possible.r>

I know that the only real answer for her is time...right now, the shock, the ache, and the fear are still just below the surface, ready to spill over from the slightest reminder.br>

Aside from her personal loss,  she is also dealing with the frightening prospect of rearing three children alone, although she has a wonderful mother who lives with her to help.

Yet, I know that she has fears right now that the entire burden is on her, and she cannot help but entertain from time to time the horrifying thought that they would be left bereft were something to happen to her.

I had those fears when I took it upon myself to rear my children as a single mother; they are only the worries of any parent who realizes she is all that is left as a security for those she loves most and who are the most helpless.

I was buoyed nonetheless by something my brother said to me when he reminded me that 99 per cent of the things we worry about never happen. She is an attorney, so she will enjoy the benefit of having a good job; in addition, hopefully, her husband had some life insurance, which I believe he did.

He was a financial planner and an accountant, so one can only assume he planned well for his family too./>

She was working only parttime in recent years. Whatever her financial situation returning to work will help. Staying busy is one of the best ways to endure the long days ahead.

As for the nights, I truly hope she is eliciting the aid of her doctors to help with sleep. It's the nights that are the hardest.

She has always been such a positive, happy person.   I know she will emerge stronger, but not for some time yet.