and you think the outside of you must mirror
the inside of you and all is black on black.
When you feel like people are looking at you
with a combination of pity and wonder and
thankfullness your life does not belong to them.
When you wonder if there really is a silver lining
behind the cloud that seems to have taken up
permanent residence over your head.
When your friends avoid you or simply give a quick
hello and turn away so you cannot make eye contact
and they may "catch" what you have.
I shall dance. I shall sing. I shall continue to look
Up above the clouds and know that my strength
will continue and never fail.
I shall take a deep breath, whisper a prayer and
silently wait for the answer whether it is "yes",
"no"... or "wait".
I shall know my true friends are standing beside
me whether physically or spiritually or sometimes
by the click of a button on the computer.
Life hands us lemons and I choose to squeeze the
last drop, crush the peels and let the soft
squishy insides slide between my fingers.
Then...I feel better.
After all, tomorrow is another day.
