Okay, so “Which religion is the right one for me?”

Well, I think the problem was partly that I had always been focused on “religion” and didn’t realize that there was a difference between being religious and being spiritual. Religious people go to church every Sunday – like it or not. Religious people can quote the scriptures. Religious people generally tend to follow set practices and traditions without ever asking why.

Being spiritual is a little different in a way that I can’t really put my finger on, except to say, spiritual people can sit on a rock by the water and call it a church. Spiritual people don’t need to use a two thousand year old Bible passage to define who and what God is, because they feel and see God in the present moment. Spiritual people never stop seeking, learning, asking, listening.

Of course, don’t quote me on this… these are purely my own observations from the religious people I've known in my life versus the spiritual people in my life. Do I think some people can be religious and spiritual at the same time – well absolutely! I just think there are a lot of religious people who take religion as a duty, while spirituality is more about where you find the joy, the Holy Spirit, the Divine connection. Do I think that I could personally be religious and spiritual at the same time? No, I don’t think so. It seems that my mind/heart/spirit just don’t work that way. I get restless in church. I don’t mind the history of the Bible and the melodic psalms, but they don’t move me in the same way that they might’ve moved my grandmother.

Actually, on a bit of an irrelevant tangent, I remember when I was a little kid, I was talking about what I wanted to be when I grew up, and my Grandmother instructed, “When you grow up, you just be a good Christian woman.” To which I replied, “But I can be a good Christian woman with a career.” I don’t know what the point of that story was… it has just always stuck with me – probably because I don’t have too many memories of my Grandma from when she was healthy, and that one just stands out in my mind. Being a “good Christian woman” was the single most important thing in the world to her. It was her duty in life, but not a duty performed out of guilt or fear of going to Hell - for her, I believe it was a duty of love.

Okay, so where was I? Oh yes, so after high school, my roommate’s mother came to live for us for a while. She was apparently a psychic… and she also made amazing home-made bread. Matt was embarrassed of his mother’s so-called abilities, but I was fascinated. I used to spend a lot of time in her room, drinking tea, eating bread n’ jam, and chatting up a storm. Her advice to me was that anyone could connect to their higher self… just keep an open mind and read as much as you can. And so I followed her advice.

One day I was in a second-hand bookstore and I came across this cute little pocket book called “The Tenth Insight” by James Redfield. The book was sitting all alone on top of a shelf, and I just couldn’t resist picking it up. I felt like it was placed there just for me to find. Looking at it now, none of its contents were really that mind-blowing, but at the time, they really spoke to me. Afterwards, I picked up the book “The Celestine Prophecies” by the same author. Again, I found its contents very relevant to my way of thinking. I bought more and more books and just kept reading. It’s interesting that I never found God in the scriptures, but I think that’s because I couldn’t relate to the scriptures. By launching myself on this journey of self-discovery, reading all these books about meditation, chakras, astrology, and the Universe, I was gradually learning more about myself, and through understanding myself, I was able to better understand how God related to me…. if that makes any sense?

When I was in college, I had a different roommate (but only temporarily -- we kicked her and her husband out because they were total idiots… but that’s a story for another day.) Anyhow, my roommate had a cousin, who was apparently a witch. I admit that I probably rolled me eyes when she told me about how her cousin dressed all in black, etc. Give. Me A. Break. Besides, witches are only in movies, right? However, during my next visit to the bookstore, a book on Wicca popped out from the shelf. I began to peruse the pages just to see what this crazy cousin was all about. Well, I can tell you that the book made no mention of dressing in black and acting like a moody… witch. Instead Wicca spoke about our connection to nature, and how everything was sacred. The pentacle was not a symbol of evil, but instead each point represented a different element of life – fire, water, earth, air and spirit -- or the Divine. As a former Greenpeace employee and at one time a pretty preachy activist (actually, I believe I was still in my preachy phase at this time – whether it was for the earth, the animals or human rights… I was always printing up my own flyers and posters, and talking to whoever would listen), as you can imagine, nothing had ever resonated with me so strongly before. I really thought I had found the “right” form of worship for me.

I bought more and more books on Wicca, but meanwhile, keeping my eyes open to other things. I got my Reiki Levels 1 and 2. I took a course about essential oils and aromatherapy. I meditated daily. I began reading books about quantum physics, metaphysics, the nature of reality, dreams and projections of consciousness, and the validity of the soul. Meanwhile, I found that I was unable to commit myself to observing the various Wiccan holidays and practices. It just seemed to make spirituality (at least as I had come to know it), far too structured, like attending church on Sundays... My belief in Wicca was slowly transforming from feeling like a spiritual experience into an organized religion (in an obviously different sense of the word). I just wanted to learn and worship and grow free-form, without defining myself as a “witch” just because it was the one religion that I felt best reflected many of my values.

It was during this time that I reunited with an old friend via Facebook. Some of you probably know her on here as Janetk. My mom used to baby-sit Janet and her sister when we were little kids. Janet and I went all through elementary school together, and well, I guess you can say during the last couple years of elementary school, our friendship suffered quite a few bumps n’ bruises. Eventually, when high school rolled around, we not only went our separate ways, but we also headed off to different schools. I haven’t seen Janet since. Because our friendship fractured well over a decade ago, you have to believe me when I say this rekindling is probably one of the most unexpected things to ever happen to me. Truly, the Universe works in very mysterious ways. For over a year, our Facebook Inboxes have been witness to a very long conversation thread that gives depth to every topic imaginable. It was during one of these first conversations about spirituality, when I admitted that while I would generally consider myself a Wiccan, because I love the earthy concepts behind the belief, I find that I really struggle with making a commitment and practicing Wicca to its full extent. That’s when Janet said something that made a whole lotta sense, which I feel really summarizes how I view spirituality today. She said, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”

And so I think if there is one thing I have finally learned, it’s that there is no “right” religion for me, as everything has something of value to offer. I found my roots in Christianity and later developed a solid core through meditation. However, my branches will continue to extend into every direction imaginable -- from Wicca to metaphysics to Buddhism to angels. I will continue to grow as a spiritual being for the rest of my life. I no longer feel confined as though I have to commit to any one thing, because for me a spiritual journey is as personal and unique as our fingerprints. And so, I believe that for the rest of my life I will continue to read, meditate, and worship in whatever way my soul moves me -- forever taking what I like, and leaving the rest.