Forty-eight times… forty-eight freakin’ times…. That’s how many times my aunt has forwarded me the same stupid forward about “amazing horseback riding” over the last four days. I swear to gawd, I’m *this close* from adding her to my blocked list. Ha.

Could it be a virus? No.

Maybe it’s a glitch? Unlikely.

Is my aunt losing her marbles? No.. er.. well… actually, let me think about that? Hmm… no, probably not. Although some might say she lost ‘em long ago.

No, my aunt is just one of those people who just doesn’t know when to call it quits. She’s the kind of lady that if she gets my answering machine, she’ll try again right away, thinking that I just didn’t have time to get to the phone. If I don’t call her back later that night, then she’ll call me the next day, and the next, then maybe wait a day, and then try again, as her phone messages go from friendly, to increasingly rude, to abrupt.

I’ve explained to her over and over and over again that I am not always home in the evening. Not only that, I also have other people I need to catch up with – I can’t spend every night shooting the breeze with her on the phone… but I promise that I *will* call her back usually later in the week. For YEARS I’ve tried to limit her to only bi-weekly phone calls, but with little success. I’ve often told her that if something is super important, just shoot me an email and I’ll get back to her within the day as I’m always online at work. But no… she refuses to email me letters… she only sends forwards…ENDLESS forwards – most of them being dirty, offensive or just plain stupid. I’ve never complained to her about cluttering up my Inbox though, because I know it’ll be as hopeless as trying to encourage bi-weekly phone calls.

Now, I love my aunt dearly… Growing up, she was always the cool aunt. She lived in Europe in her 20’s. When she moved back to Canada she had a nice house on the beach which was almost like a little retreat for my sister n’ I. We loved hanging out with her. She used to let us dress up in her clothes, and wear her perfume and make up. She had a big CD and movie collection. We’d cook nice meals together. It was always a lot of fun and I have many fond memories. But over the years she has allowed her cool cred to go to her head and has since taken it to new heights, always reminding us how she’s the cool aunt. Which leads me to ask, are you still cool when you start insisting that you’re cool? Hmm… well, I guess it worked for Fonzie? Of course, I don’t think Fonzie tried to prove his coolness by giving out sex toys for Christmas gifts.

After asking what I thought of my gift, my aunt said, “Let me know when I’ve crossed the line.”

“I think you left the line in the dust years ago…”

Anyhow, as an adult besides bragging about her coolness, she always takes credit for everything I know. Not a phone conversation goes by where she doesn’t say something like, “Well, good thing I taught you how to do that, eh? Or else you’d be completely hopeless in the real world!” I always chuckle and let her take the kudos, but in all honesty, I don’t remember her teaching me everything she claims to have taught me… but I just let her have her moment at my otherwise “hopeless” expense. :oP

Yep… she’s definitely one of a kind, and trust me, I know I’m very lucky to have her… she certainly keeps life interesting… but sometimes she can totally drive me up the wall. Now where was I? Oh yes, these darn forwards! Good gawd…

So like I was saying, if she can’t get me on the phone, she’ll just keep calling like a maniac. Well, the same goes for her forwards… she’s quite a persistent woman… if she doesn’t think something sent properly then she’ll send it over and over again. She’s done it once or twice before, but at 48, this time certainly takes the cake.

Over the last four days she’s been trying to send this 8 MB file of “amazing horseback riding”. I’m sure the reason she keeps sending it over and over again is because the file is too big so it’s getting bounced back from some recipients. Two days ago, after the first 20 times she sent it, I emailed her to politely explain this theory, and to let her know that while some may not be able to receive such large attachments (and oh, how I envy them!), the rest of us have indeed received it, so she can stop re-sending it. Well, today, after I’ve received the forward another 20 times, I finally emailed her again to say, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP SENDING ME THIS FORWARD!!!!” Sounds rude of me, I know, but I’m sure she’ll find the humour in it. Nonetheless, a couple hours later, she still proceeded to send it another 8 times.

Any wagers on if she’ll make it to 50?