The original title of this post was supposed to be:

I SAW A SNOWFLAKE
AND IT MADE MY HEART ACHE

But first of all, it was too fucking long (ha!) and second of all, I live in Canada and I was scared that you would actually think I’d seen a snowflake this morning, falling softly past the window of my igloo.

I didn’t. But my ice cube pillow * was * little melted last night. Might be time to carve a new one, eh?

Ha.

No…today my head is filled with a running to-do list that I should really scratch out on some paper. A smarter gal would write these things down, but since I never claimed to be smart and I live to annoy all of you with my long winded and boring as fuck posts about nothing, I’m just going to tap the list out on here. Hey…it’s been a slow week, okay?

1. I need a pedicure. I just said that like I was a real pedicure pro, didn’t I? Like I wasn’t crazy nervous before my first pedicure ever and like I’ve actually had more than one…But the truth is that I haven’t returned for another foot scrub and rub since the first time I ventured into the salon with a gift certificate and a boyfriend with a foot fetish on my mind. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the pedicure…I did. A lot. And I loved the results. Even now, you can just see where my toenails have grown but there aren’t any chips in the rockin’ purple polish. That’s the mark of a real professional. I just haven’t made it back because of two constant factors: Time. And money. I have very little of both. And so now the scramble to find some time and a bit of money begins. The spa that I went to the first time has fucked up, inconvenient hours, except on Thursdays and Fridays. Which is great except that I can’t make it tonight and Rock is working until Dog knows when tomorrow. I think I’ll end up at the cheaper place in the mall, even though walking past it gives me the heebies…

2. I need to do some craftin’. I have an entirely separate list of crafts I have planned and set out to do but haven’t gotten around to, yet. First, I need to dig out my laminator. I love my laminator and love an excuse to laminate pieces of decorated paper or tags or whatever. There’s just something about inserting the sheet covered loosely in plastic and watching it come out the other end, slick and firm and sleek looking. Yesterday, I made two identical charts for the girls…the days of the week at the top and their chores along the side with room for check marks in the middle…and they need to be laminated so that I can write on them and wipe them clean. It’s my new attempt at getting them to pick up after themselves. I cleaned their disaster of a bedroom yesterday and it honestly made me cry, it was that bad. But I digress. I have laminating to do and I also have an old shirt…you might remember it…it says, “Talk nerdy to me”…that has an awful grease stain on the front (one of the downfalls of being the only person in this house who cooks) but I don’t want to pitch it because like Terri’s husband and his $285 shirt from Vegas, I love this one too much to toss. I want to salvage it. So, I think I’ll cut out the screened glasses and words and sew it onto a black tank top and try to give it some new life that way. I also bought a dirt cheap wife beater tank at Zellers the other day and I have some fabric marker plans for it. Not to mention the star beads waiting for a chance to be strung onto cord. Now if I could just make it down to the craft room for something other than phone sex….

3. Buy traveler’s insurance on-line. One week from today I will be getting ready to head for my sister’s place in Ottawa to spend the night so that I can fly out of Ottawa at an ungodly hour again (don’t look at me like I’m fucked up…it gives another whole half a day which actually feels like a whole day and all I have to do to get that extra time with the boy I love is wake up at three o’clock in the morning…damn this love business, eh?) and fly into the U S of A. And since Canada has national health care, I don’t have private insurance. And since the US isn’t into the whole “free health care for all” gig, I need medical insurance. Now I should mention that I’ve never needed to use it while I’ve been visiting Don and I can’t foresee any catastrophic accidents happening while I’m there but you just know that the one time I skip the insurance will be the one time that I actually DO have some sort of foot related accident that will leave me in an American emergency room with absolutely no way to pay for it. Think if I just plead ignorance… “what do you mean billed?! I’m Canadian! Doctors and hospitals and emergency surgery is supposed to be free! Where’s Stephen Harper?! He can explain it to you!”…they’ll let it slide?

4. Call the doctor. Ah…maybe tomorrow.

5. Get Michael to call up Don and scream into the phone, onto Don’s answering machine about the lack of yogurt melts in this house and remind Don, in Michael’s patented Diva With An Atti-fucking-tude , that he * promised * more yogurt melts on the way in the mail but has yet to deliver. Maybe I’ll also get Michael to remind Don about the state of the my couch… * LOL *

6. Get some cash out of the bank machine and hide it away. That’s sick, isn’t it? But it’s the way it has to be done. I need cash to pay the cab driver who will take me to the airport next Friday and I’ll need cash to buy dinner for my sister and her boyfriend on the Tuesday that I return to thank them for putting me up, yet again and I don’t want to take any chances. I know that this task sounds easy enough, but believe me, it isn’t. I’m so rarely let out of my cage (AKA the house) to roam around that the opportunity to be in front of a blinking bank machine is a rare luxury at this point. BUT…I think that I might have the car tomorrow, certainly not because Rock feels like being nice to me or his children, but because he will be working well into the night, making a delivery to some far away place and he’ll need to borrow a truck from work to do that. So what he usually does at times like these is gets a ride to work and then drives a truck home. And I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that the kids and I might escape for a few hours to someplace besides the corner, country store tomorrow. Think they’ll all sit nicely while Mama has a pedicure?

7. Call my Mom. Well, that’s pretty easy to take care of…I’m going to phone her tonight as soon as dinner is finished (and fuck it…I’m making Rock do some dishes…). I am fully prepared for my guilt trip and I’m going to take it like a champ because I know that no matter what, she will support me, even if she has to ream me out about it, she will support me in whatever I set out to do and that’s good because what I’m setting out to do is the kind of thing I’ll need support for and * really *… that’s all that matters, right?

8. Work on my poetry a bit. I’m getting pretty good! I have a couple of really good poems about a pet cat I used to have a long time ago and I even wrote a few about the American Boy. Now what rhymes with penis?

And even though that’s not even everything that needs to be done and even though that doesn’t even count all of the regular things I have to accomplish today and even though I don’t feel like doing much except joining MySpace (hey girl! I’m comin’ for ya!) and checking out the Righteous Babe Records website for tour dates and goodies I want to buy and cruising around MyBloggers getting all caught up again and continuing in my e-mail thread with a good friend that I have a little, platonic crush on and cruising through Facebook, leaving comments about milk on Don’s wall, I think I’ll go and get another coffee from the pot and at least think about some of those items on the list. Cuz really, making the list was chore enough for today.

Happy Thursday, Everyone!

· *LOL * LOL * LOL * LOL * LOL * LOL * LOL * LOL *

Copyright janetk 2008