Old school in that it’s going to be one of my patented point form posts. From back in the day. Okay, enough cheesy lingo…

On with the post!

· The little, brown mouse in the breezeway has started to grow on me. Go ahead and read that again, I know it’s hard to believe. Now before all of you fucked up mouse lovers out there get all excited and jazzed…only THIS mouse has started to grow on me. Not ALL mice. I still hate mice in general but this little guy has started to wear me down with his “fuck your peanut butter” dances and his peeking out at me from behind the garbage cans while I’m sitting on the steps, smoking and drinking coffee and talking on the phone. So, I’ve decided that he can live in the breezeway on two conditions. One, that he doesn’t go and fall in love and start breeding all over the place. I’m not running a fucking halfway house for mice! And two, that he doesn’t get hungry and try to come into the house. If he enters the actual house, all bets are off and I will trap and kill the little fucker. But as long as he keeps it in his little mouse pants and keeps feeding on seeds and grains and such, he can hang out in my breezeway. I’ve been trying to tell him to stop running out in front of me. That’s the thing that freaks me out the most. The way that mice scurry and dart out and startle me. So I warn him whenever I go outside that I’m coming. And in all truth, he’s mostly been staying close to the garbage cans in the corner and just peeking at me whenever I get quiet. So, get your ice skates…hell just froze over.
· I’m sick. I’ve been sick since Sunday night when I found myself trying to stop from nodding off while the American Boy was talking. That’s bad, I know. At first, I thought it was just allergies making me stuffed up and yucky feeling but when I woke up Monday morning with a head full of cement and eyeballs threatening to slide right off of my face, I knew it was the real deal. I feel a little bit better with every day that passes but still nowhere near 100%. I’m stuffed and achy and tired and just plain gross feeling. And I’m whiny. Ask Don. I’m whiny. I’m not sure how I managed to get sick in June. I haven’t been as run down as I sometimes am and there hasn’t been much going around. Although, there has been a lot of stress here in Janet Land. I guess that doesn’t really help matters, does it? And the stress and the knee deep fucking bullshit around here is another post for another day. Believe me…
· My middle toe hurts a bit. I think it might have something to do with the toenail. Which wouldn’t normally be such a big deal except that I go to have my very first ever pedicure tomorrow and I’m honestly terrified of having the grossest or ugliest feet the pedicure lady has ever seen. Don’t look at me like that…it could happen! And so now this toe is causing me grief and what if it’s something bad, you know? And she won’t touch it or something. Or what if she thinks I’m two steps away from bag lady because I don’t care for my feet?! So, now I’m having anxiety about the toe and the pedicure in general. I’m still going, mostly because it’s FREE because I got a gift certificate for my birthday and also because everyone tells me it feels good. Right? Everyone? It feels good, right?
· Speaking of tomorrow…I have a lot of last minute running around to do and some last minute organizing, too. For someone who went on and on about how long the five weeks in between visits was and for someone who felt as though the last two weeks were dragging, I sure did leave a lot of stuff to the last minute! And now it’s Wednesday and I only have about two days to get everything set. That’s part of the fun, though, in a sick way. To leave everything so that when I get close to going, the time is full and I can’t get distracted by missing Don or waiting for the time to pass. In this one way, it seems like forever since I’ve seen him. And in another way, it seems like I just started planning this two week escapade a few days ago. It will be fun. It’s always fun. And yes, I’m excited.
· Kate thinks that she’s five. Her birthday isn’t until Monday but we celebrated on this past Sunday because I’ll be away from home on her actual birthday. I’m letting her believe that she’s five. Her birthday par-tay was a success. Lots of gum had by all and really, that’s the most important thing, isn’t it? There was a fair bit of bullshit coming down from the roommate’s side of the fucked up fence that threatened to dampen the spirit but like a good Mama, I refused to allow that to happen. What continually amazes me is Rock’s readiness to take down the kids in his own anger and upset. Believe me, it’s a terribly humbling feeling to watch someone you used to love fail to meet your basic expectations. And I’ve been doing a lot of damage control. Just this morning, Emma (who had been a super grouch until her Dad left for work) told me quietly that she liked it better when Daddy didn’t come home. Now try to tell me that’s not sad.
· I am trying to tell myself that Rock will have to step up to the plate while I’m gone simply because I won’t be here to pick up the pieces. And I am trying to tell myself that the kids have to get used to being with one or the other parent. That it won’t always be both of us in the house and that the kids will have to be able to stay with Rock for periods at a time and likewise, will have to stay without him. The process has been gradual and I wouldn’t change that. They are now used to spending all day and all night with only Mommy. And they’re getting used to spending nights without me. But it’s damn tough, let me tell you. Because there is still a huge part of me that just wants to scoop them up and save them from the pain and the changes. If wishes were fishes, eh?
· The weather is back to being shitty around here. The heat went away after a good couple of thunderstorms and now here I sit in a fucking sweater. Oh well. There’s still lots of time left, I guess. The only thing that really bites my ass is that I just went out and bought Michael some new summer time pajamas and now he can’t wear them. Stupid Ontario summer…

And now that I’ve left the point form on a most cranky note…

Don’t worry about me, okay? I appreciate all of your concerns and your caring. How blessed I am to have all of you in my cyber world. But I assure you…I’m okay. And now I have a lot of catching up to do here in MyBloggers Land so until next time…

Happy Wednesday! And Happy three more sleeps until I see the American Boy! Hooray!