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Down Time
Down Time
Much has happened since last we met. Life has been a jumble of emotions and furious activity lately.
1. The bank foreclosed on my youngest brother’s house this weekend. The sheriff served him with the eviction notice on Saturday at 11 a.m. He and his wife had until yesterday, (Monday) to evacuate the premises. Yesterday afternoon, the locksmith was at the house that was formerly his, changing the locks.
How do I feel about that? Incredibly angry at my brother. He is the type of person who thinks he knows everything. Arrogant is good word to describe him. He knew this was coming for two months. The bank had given him plenty of warning. Yet, he refused to do anything to try to rectify the situation. Somehow, he thought that this would all just dry up and blow away.
Part of his attitude stems from my father’s treatment of him. This is not the first time that my brother has been in financial crisis. Even though my brother makes well in excess of $100,000 per year, he manages to live way beyond his means, thinking that tomorrow will never come.
Always in the past, my father was there with the checkbook to bail him out.
Well, my father is dead now.
For my brother, tomorrow is finally here.
He is now fifty years old. He’s in hock to the IRS for tens of thousands of dollars. He has nothing in the bank. He has no home. All of his worldly possessions are now in the back of a pick-up truck. If he sets foot on his former property, he will be arrested for trespassing.
All because of arrogance and living beyond his means.
When I first heard about his problem, I was faced with a moral dilemma. Should I loan him the money?
I mean, hell, I make as much money as he does, and I’ve got SO MUCH materially! (3 homes, two of them paid for. A sailboat. Horses. Money in the bank.) Suddenly, I felt guilty.
However, I chose not to lend him a cent. I knew that if I did, he would burn through it in no time flat, and then, in a few months, he’d be in the same predicament.
I gave him advice. Sound advice. And the arrogant S.O.B. totally dismissed it with a wave of his hand and a disgusted grimace on his face.
So now, he is virtually homeless. At age 51, he’s got nothing. LESS than nothing, since his credit cards are all maxed out, and he into the IRS for a small fortune.
How does it make me feel? Angry. Frustrated. Even embarrassed. Sad for his kids. Helpless.
I’m just glad my dad isn’t around to see the mess.
2. The latest play I directed, Leading Ladies closed this weekend to standing-room-only houses and standing ovations. It was a totally positive and rewarding experience. The script was wonderful. The actors were superb and professional, and the production itself was incredible.
Now that it’s over, do I miss it?
Well, I REALLY miss the cast and crew. We became great friends during the eight weeks that we were together. I’m sad that I won’t be seeing them every day now. I love those folks.
However, there is a HUGE time commitment that you have to be willing to give in order to put on a production of this magnitude and caliber, and to be honest with you, I like my new-found down time.
Am I proud of the show? Tremendously.
Did I enjoy working on it? I had a ball!
Do I miss the folks who worked on it with me? Uh-huh. But I will see them all again very shortly. Many of them hang out at The Main Street Café, and others have plans of getting together with Mary Ellen and I – some for dinner, some for horseback riding, and some for new theatrical experiences in the very near future.
3. I am now in the process of presenting one show I wrote, The Cultivation of Succulents, to a theater group that has shown a great deal of interest in it.(The president of this new group has seen the DVD of the show and was very impressed with it.)
I am also in the planning stages of presenting a new play that I wrote, Blessed Event, to another theater group as a dramatic reading and then as a full-fledged production.
4. And then, amid all of this chaos and drama, there is Mary Ellen. My rock. My comfort. My lifeline to sanity. My love.
When the frenzy of life dies away, there is Mary Ellen. Always there, always smiling, always calm, always showing me that I am worth something.
Last night, we spent our first relaxed evening together in what seems like months.
There we were, outside in the hot tub, sipping X.O. Patrone and milk (Thank you, Jacqueline!), under the stars.
I must have told her that I loved her a dozen times in that half hour.
As I sat there in that warm, bubbling water holding Mary Ellen’s hand, I felt the all the pressures that had been accumulating for weeks just melt away.
Right then and there, I knew that, as long as I had this woman to come back to, I could face anything that life throws at me.
The play was a lot of fun, and I truly love the people with whom I was working. The new theatrical endeavors are exciting and promising. My brother is an idiot, and it’s not my fault, and I am working hard on myself not feel guilty.
While all of this was swirling around in my head, I realized last night in the hot tub that my entire world – all of my happiness and self-worth – was sitting there right next to me, holding my hand.
posted on Nov 25, 2008 10:23 AM ()
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Ah, Jim. What a mixture of feelings in this post. Your brother... I'm glad you decided not to take your father's spot in his life and bail him out. He'll probably find someone else to do that for him. He's too far along in life to change his ways... What a mess he's in. I know you've spoken of him before... the apple of your father's eye. But, you were always the steady one. 
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I also know this because I am an old drunk and druggie.
Tough love is hard on all involved-but it sometimes needs to be done.
It is not going to be a easy road.
Grumpy is now getting off the soapbox.