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(The names have been changed for various reasons.)
Eleanor and Sam seemed to have everything going for them as a couple. He owned a thriving business, she was very active in city charities. They had 3 children, all with top grades and excelling in sports. Eleanor and Sam were known as future leaders in their community and were the envy of many. I was friends with them both as Eleanor worked part time for me and we all socialized away from work.
One morning Sam killed himself after the kids had gone to school and Eleanor had come to the office. He didn't leave a note nor had he shown any signs of depression and there weren't any financial problems. As far as was known the marriage was a happy one. Eleanor was never to know why he killed himself. Years later she would meet Vic, they would fall in love, marry and the kids would accept him as part of their family.
I knew only one other person who committed suicide. Maurice was a good friend of mine. He was the rare actor who made a living from acting not having to take other jobs 'in-between engagements', though he was never a star he was known as reliable and could do many different character roles.
Maurice was in his late 30s when he met Tony who was a first tier star, married with children without any intention of leaving his wife. He was in his early 40s just having a fling with Maurice knowing it would be easier to hide than an affair with any actress.
Maurice was very much in love with Tony and was willing to take whatever 'crumbs' he could get. They were at my apartment one evening (I not knowing at the time that Tony planned it that way) when he told Maurice that it was over, that he was afraid their affair was starting to become public knowledge and he didn't want to put his career and marriage at risk.
I saw a side of Maurice I had never seen before--he begged, he cried, said he was willing to do anything even to see him a lot less, going out with actresses, going back into the closet and so on. Maurice's pleas went on for almost an hour but Tony remained as cold as I had ever seen someone.
All life went out of Maurice and he excused himself and went into the bathroom. I spent about 15 minutes reading the riot act to Tony knowing I wasn't getting anywhere but feeling I had to say something.
Making a long story short Tony said something about Maurice taking a long time in the bathroom and immediately I knew something was wrong. I ran into the bathroom and Maurice had slit his wrists, blood all over. (I still have nightmares from seeing that.) I called 911 but by the time they got him to the hospital it was too late.
I never felt bad about feeling good how Tony's life and career went downhill after a few years. His wife left him for another man, acting jobs dried up and he would spend his late years as a director/teacher in a small Texas town barely eking out a living--and I don't think he ever came out or had another affair.
Two men took their lives--one we will probably never know why and the other for, in my opinion, a flimsy reason. They made their decision not knowing how they will and did affect many other lives.
I don't think people who commit suicide think about those they leave behind nor do they prepare their family and loved ones--to me it is a completely selfish act.
Some people would say there are certain circumstances, like a fatal illness, that justifies suicide and, I might agree, BUT I feel they have to talk to those they leave behind and/or hurt before they do the act in some way so they don't hurt as much, or for as long, or have themselves always asking, "Why?" The suicide is looking for peace, why not offer it to those involved in their life?
Could I, or even Tony, have said, done something, to stop Maurice? Probably that afternoon or until he was alone. He was hurting too much and I think Tony's breaking up with him just added to his despair though I wasn't aware that he had or was having other problems.
We were close friends and, yet, he didn't talk to me. Was that my fault or his? I'll never know.
