Subject: puns of fun

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead
raccoons. The flight attendant looks at him and says,
'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per
passenger.'

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns
to the other and says 'Dam!'

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they
lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it
immediately sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says 'I've lost my
electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first
replies 'Yes, I'm positive.'

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused
Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend
dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel
and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent
tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager
came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
'But why?', they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,'
he said,'I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open
foyer.'

7. A woman has identical twins and is forced to give
them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in
Egypt and is named 'Ahmal.' The other goes to a family
in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.' Years later, Juan
sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon
receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband
responds, 'They're identical twins! If you've seen
Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry
payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to
raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men of God, a rival florist across town thought
the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers
to close down, but they would not. He went back and
begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the
rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and
most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh
can prevent Florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most
of the time, which produced an impressive set of
calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which
made him rather frail, and, with his odd diet, he
suffered from bad breath. This made him a super
calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

And finally,

10. There was the person who sent ten different puns
to friends with the hope that at least one of the puns
would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.