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Friday's Late-Night Wrap-Up of Election Jokes
Filed at 3:52 a.m. ET
NEW YORK (AP) -- As the presidential campaign nears its end, late-night TV
hosts aren't letting up. A selection of jokes from Friday, with Halloween a favorite topic:
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Barack
Obama ''took time out to take his kids trick-or-treating. That was nice. He
would only let them take candy from households making over $200,000. No candy
from anybody under $200,000!'' -- Jay
Leno, NBC's ''Tonight Show.''
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''Halloween: It's the dead, walking among the living. That's what Halloween
is. They come back to life. They're dead, but they're walking around. No, wait a
minute -- that's the McCain campaign.'' -- David
Letterman, CBS' ''Late Show.''
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''Everybody is in the Halloween spirit, and I love that. Even the Democratic
presidential candidate changed his name. He's now Barack-O-Lantern.'' --
Letterman.
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''They had to put out a special warning today (for) Sarah
Palin's traveling press corps: Don't dress up as an animal, or she might
shoot you.'' -- Jimmy
Kimmel on ABC's ''Jimmy Kimmel Live!''
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''This week John
McCain said that people who live in coastal states like Florida should get
more of the money from offshore
drilling. I think that's called 'spreading the wealth around.''' --
Leno.
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''Oprah
Winfrey says she plans to attend Barack Obama's election night rally in
Chicago. So, win or lose, Obama's going home with a new car.'' -- Conan
O'Brien on NBC's ''Late Night.''
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After Obama's successful infomercial earlier this week, ''John McCain is
thinking of making one. But his is for the Craftmatic Adjustable Bed.'' --
O'Brien.
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''John McCain says Joe the Plumber is his 'role model' and today said he
wants to take him to Washington if he's elected president. Not a bad idea: They
will need someone to install safety rails around the White House toilets.'' --
Kimmel.
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''This weekend is daylight savings. Everyone sets their clocks back. You know
what that means: an extra hour for this stupid campaign.'' -- Leno.
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ABC is owned by the Walt Disney Co.; CBS is owned by CBS Corp.; NBC is owned
by General Electric Co.
