Who
would have thought that there would be 'Friends of Dorothy'
get-togethers on cruises in the 21st century? At one time it was a catch
phrase among gay people used in public to indicate someone was gay
without letting nongays know. Originally Dorothy referred to Judy
Garland's character in "the Wizard of Oz" but later it meant Bea
Arthur's character in "the Golden Girls."

In
the 40s and 50s, when I came out, homosexuality was a crime that could
lead to long sentences in prison so gay people had a secret language to
communicate, mainly in public, and wore certain items to recognize one
another. Penny loafers, a pinkie ring and/or a red tie were just a few
of the items a gay man wore to identify each other. Years later solid
color handkerchiefs, each denoting a sexual act, were placed in rear
pockets, on the right if a 'bottom' and on the left if a 'top', to
signal what kind of partner they wanted, and for what, from scat to
water sports to vanilla sex.

Many
words used back then aren't known by the younger generation of today's
gays such as tearoom which meant the rest room, usually public used for
sex, or active Greek(giver) passive Greek (receiver) and active/passive
French. Some terms have continued to be used such as fem, butch, top,
bottom and a few new ones have come along. There are bears who are
older, hairy and heavier guys while cubs are younger versions and/or
followers of the first.

What
nongays refer to as junk gay men call  their package. Chickens are
still young men while gym bunnies work out not for health reasons but to
be admired. There are certain words used among gay themselves which are
insulting if used by nongays. Homosexual has become a negative word due
to 'christians'--small c--who condemn gay people.

There
are certain terms/expressions in the gay world and sometimes used by
nongays that I--that's me, myself and I--don't/ won't use. I will not
call another man by a feminine name including the infamous 'Mary'. I do
not call another gay man a queen though I do use the much honored term
drag queen. I do not refer to gays using the 'F' or 'Q' word which is
usually used when nongays are bashing/killing gays,. The word twinkie
left my vocabulary a long time ago and I don't refer to a bar that
caters to older men as 'the wrinkle room'. I won't refer to a woman who
hangs out with or has gay males as friends as a 'F.H.'

Words
and symbols change from generation to generation and certain words or
phases---"that's so gay"--can hurt and make an impact whether people
realize it or not. Gays can be as intolerant of nongays as nongays can
be of gays so it wouldn't a bad idea if each side practiced "Peace on
earth good will to man."

By the way nongay is a fairly new word coming from a small independant movie.