I
have posted this before in various forms. In 1972 I went through
Transactional Analysis Therapy and read 4 books that changed my life:
"Loneliness: The Fear Of Love" by Ira Tanner, "Passages" by Gail Sheehy,
"Born To Win" by Murial James and Dorothy Jongeward, P.H. D, "I'm Okay,
You're Okay" by Thomas A. Harris, M. D.  and a 5th one "Games People
Play" by Eric Berne, M.D., that verified everything. These books were
written between 1967-1976 and they all could have been written and published today.
 Don't
assume (and we all know what assume stands for) this is about you but
if the shoe fits isn't it time you changed to another pair of shoes?
(Guess I am into a shoe fetish today LOL)

  "Yes,
But...." is a game negative people play. No matter what you say to
them, regarding any subject, they will come back with the answer, "Yes,
but..."  "That's a nice dress." "Yes, but it is old."  Whether it is a
compliment, a suggestion, an idea, a change, no matter what, they have
that "Yes, but..." waiting.

"Games
prevent honest, intimate and open relationships between people. Games
are played to win, but a person who plays games as a way of life is not a
winner. (Born to Win)"

Sally
loses a lot of weight and gets a lot of attention and continues to get
attention as she keeps the weight off but, little by little, people come
to accept the 'new' Sally and the attention stops. How does Sally get
attention? Regain the weight. "Negative Attention Is Better Than No
Attention At All". Calling people names, putting people down,
discounting people are all ways of getting negative attention not to
forget committing a horrendous crime, stealing a lot of money and going
to other extremes. While most people don't go that far they will demean
themselves to get attention like getting drunk (been there), talk about
being a slut or all the sex partners they have (done that)--not once in
awhile but consistently.

"Games
tend to be repetitious. People find themselves saying the same things
in the same ways, only the time and the place may change. (Born To Win)"
We
all know people who play "Poor Little Me"--they are always complaining
about their life whether it be physical, economical or emotional.
People, 'they', are always preventing them from doing better. They are,
generally, also "Injustice Collectors", people who harbor any and all,
possibly imagined, insults and then one day explode. Both these game
players hinder themselves. Both have an excuse to NOT better themselves
and are always blaming someone /something else--their spouse, society,
economics, parents and, even sometimes, their pets like "I can't go on
vacation because I can't afford to put Fido in a kennel and I have no
one to take care of them. Poor little me. It is unjust!"

"The
fact is that games are not fun or funny. They are defenses to protect
individuals from greater or lesser degrees of pain growing from the I am
not okay position. (I'M OK--YOU'RE OK)"

To
be called on a game might often produce anger. Games are negative time
structuring devices which keep people apart and are constantly repeated.
If they can find like players to gang up on someone they fail because
they will, eventually, turn on each other--that is the nature of the
negative game--not having people agree with you.

"Games
are a series of transaction between two people leading to a definite
payoff---feelings of rejection, disappointment, anger, guilt or hurt.
(Loneliness:The Fear of Love)"

The type of games that you play are based on how you feel about yourself.

A
person's favorite game is, "If It Weren't For You"--when Eve ate the
apple and was asked why, she blamed the snake--when Adam was asked why
he took a bite of the apple he blamed Eve--now they were both victims
and could claim, "If it wasn't for you...". To not take responsibility
it is easier to say, "See what you made me do."

We
get even with people through self-injury, flunking a test, striking out
at someone, sitting and brooding, name calling. Sometimes the rewards
of winning a game are small like weeping in the bedroom, having a
headache, throwing a dish, dressing down someone--all a way of saying "I
won this game,"--and by doing this we emphasize our negative feelings
and not feeling good about ourselves we play a game again.

When
a person posts the same negative feelings, words, attacks again and
again they are reinforcing their own negative feelings about themselves
and end friendships and intimacy with others and they win by feeling
bad.

I
once knew someone--and still know 2-3 people like that--who the
unhappier they were/are, the more they had to complain about, the more
they could put someone/anyone down, the happier they were and that's a
sad, sad game.

Did you ever notice that sad, unhappy people hate happy, positive people?

There are a few other games people, especially bloggers, play that I will post about in the future.

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For
men who think they are 'better', 'different', 'superior', 'smarter'--I
suggest they read "Passages" and they will see themselves at 20, 30, 40
and over 50. People are more alike then they are different and it is so
easy to see that on blog sites.