Gee

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Gee
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Defining Gee

Life & Events > Relationships > The Sun Shines for Us This Morning
 

The Sun Shines for Us This Morning

Maybe the sun has been out other mornings this week, but to me it seems brighter today. It's as if it's smiling towards our home here.

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There is no lump in my throat today. I don't push back tears. My heart is full and my stomach still flutters while my eyes replay snap shots of happy times. There is a permanent smirk on my face whenever I reacquaint myself with the here and now.

Yesterday while discussing our feelings, G and I were able to pinpoint what was different and making us both feel un-centered. We have been so busy moving, finding room for things in a house full of construction dust and unfinished area, trying to make all four kids happy and transitioned as easily as possible for them...we hadn't taken time to "be in love".

Our relationship has quickly grown from dating on the weekends, to seeing each other as much as possible to living together and planning a new life as a family of six (plus 2 pugs and a cat).

I know that speaking from my point of view, I had quickly reverted to my old ways of what I'd always done as a wife and a Mom. I'm already learning things that must change so that I can avoid falling back into emotional quick-sand traps. I could feel myself starting to feel like I used to feel (only on a much smaller scale). I started to feel like I was working much harder to "take care" of three new people in my home and family. (Don't get me wrong, G helps out but this is a "me thing" about how I feel I should be) In combination working harder, I felt I was receiving less pay-off for it (love and affection). We were too busy and I was hardening up because I felt worn out and a bit resentful. I was pushing him away instead of pulling him close like I needed. He got scared (rightly so) due to past experiences in his failed relationships. He felt like he was personally failing and letting me down. Therefore he retreated too a bit feeling that I didn't want to be close to him.

So last night the kids were all at there other parent's house. G did have to take his kids to a therapy appointment though so I was alone until about 8:30. This actually worked out well because it's been a while since I've been alone in my home to think and also sit still and be thankful for all that I have and the progress I've made over the past several months.

When he came home, his hands were full with Chinese take out and our favorite wine. We sat at the table, no t.v. on and enjoyed the delicious meal and wine. We talked and laughed (gosh I had missed that). Then we watched my recorded episode of BB before going to bed. He held me all night, his hand never parting from my skin. I woke him up with kisses when he had to go to work.

Carpe Diem


Seize the day and take the time to be in love.




posted on July 30, 2008 5:14 AM ()

Comments:

If you promise yourself a few simple things, you will not lose yourself to the person and ways of the past. First of all, you all have to deal with the daily routine "stuff", the everyday responsibilities...and they won't all be fun, happy, or fair. But, you and G are a COUPLE...so you need "tea for two" time and you must find a way for that to be. On occasion, the two of you need to have a DATE...whether it's just cuddling in front of the TV, sitting out in the yard, going to a movie, having a dinner together, going off on a stroll, or just alone in a room talking your hearts out. Second, you need some "me time"...time just for you to do what you want or need to do for yourself...going to a gym, going for a walk, taking a long bath, taking a long nap, reading uninterrupted, going shopping, doing volunteer work...something without G or any of the kids, but ok if you want to be with others. Third, you need to keep communication open, share with each other...one can not afford to be self-victimizing, self-blaming, self-righteous, or suspicious, feeling dejected, or living with panic or misunderstanding. This type of communication should be encouraged with the children, too. Fourth, is family time...yes, mealtime can and should be family time if possible, as well as a movie night, a family yard clean-up day, a shopping spree, a family hike, etc., but also all should have some responsibilities toward the care of each other, the home, etc., so you truly are a family "team". Fifth is the willingness to switch places, exchange responsibilities, cover for each other, make substitutions...so that one can give another a break or helping hand, one can make a sacrifice for the benefit of another, one can ease it for another who may have another responsibility to fulfill...as long as you are not the only one who gives in, covers, fills in, substitutes, etc. All should do the same for you and each other, too. Set these as basic starting rules and you should remain fine and be happy with yourself as a person, friend, mother, lover, and friend.
comment by donnamarie on Aug 27, 2008 7:57 PM ()
This sounds so wonderful! I am so happy for you.
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on July 30, 2008 7:49 AM ()
Good advice. As long as you stop and remember to "live", I believe you'll get through all the bumps that are sure to be there in your new life.
comment by shesaidwhat on July 30, 2008 6:05 AM ()

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