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Hmmm...where do I want to go with this post?
Yes there are a lot of ups and downs lately, but when I'm with him everything is perfect. I feel bad for saying this but I really can't every remember feeling like this.
Today was a long day at work and I didn't get my usual mid-day break. But I was in a good mood because it was Friday, so it was alright. When I got home, I was upset to see I had 3 missed calls from the ex and a voicemail which was nasty saying "So much for the friend thing I guess. You knew how upset I was and you never called me yesterday. Is this how you'd treat a friend? I don't think so. So when you get this and if you have time, then try to give me a call." He was really rude and it was just so unexpected and unneeded. I don't know what would have been the best way to handle the situation, but I called him back and first yelled and got mad at him. After that I tried to talk calmly and rationally with him about how I felt, but we didn't get too far. He's just hurt and that's fine and understandable, but just want to be happy.
So after that phone call, I baked some chocolate chip cookies for movie night tonight and then lay down to read my third book by Max Lucado "A Love Worth Giving". I've borrowed these from G and I really like them. I feel like I'm getting a lot out of them. Any way, it didn't take long before I had the urge to sleep just for a little while- and so I did.
When I got up, I knew it wouldn't be long before G and his kids would be here to watch movies! I was so excited. I baked two pizzas and they were just coming out of the oven when the 3 of them got here. It was my kids' first time meeting his daughter. They all ended up getting along well. So well in fact that none of them wanted to sit inside and watch movies on our "movie night". So we ended up letting them play and G and I went on to watch two kid movies. We had a great night though just like we always do when we're together. The look in his eye and his hand in mine is like the strongest anti-depressant I've ever taken.
I started making him a scrabook of collages. So I had made him 2 more for his book. Well he's always one ahead of me and presented me with three more poem written for and dedicated to me. This makes 15 in 30 days!! I've only got one more blank page in my book before I'll have to start another one.
I really love weekends again! For so long I looked forward to weekends but then was sad because I had nobody to share them with. Now the whole work week is worth it just knowing that I get to see him.
Now, the shoe is on the other foot. Your ex feels let down, mistreated, and is refusing to let go (for himself) and to let you go (mainly for himself, again)...but, he's got to somehow "get the message" that both of you will be better off if you each go your separate ways. It will be great if you can still be friends, but he's going to have to realize that it's going to be separate ways even if there is no friendship, so see if you can maybe get that point across. Tell him you are trying to be a friend, but if he's not going to act like one, then the friendship has to be over to. I know you don't want to do that, but it's called "tough love" (yeah, in a different sort of way), but it might have to be. Sometimes, after a person has no choice but to let go and move on...over time, they mellow a bit or "come around" a bit. You might end up being friends, anyway. Yeah, try to stay friends...but it's that promise of a friendship that he might be using as a means to hang on...to stay a part of your life...to make your "new" life not so wonderful. Be careful, he may be a contribution to unhappiness even in the life you've moved into, the one where he supposedly is not an equal partner (but he is finding a way to still be a part of it).
Now, the good part...hooray for a great Friday! Fun, fun, fun! And, romantic, too! Wow!