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So to all of you who think kota is the sweetest kid ever, he does have his bad side. And its been coming out this week! I don't think he has been getting enough sleep. Problems in school and the bus. Although his bullies are now getting caught in the act and being sent to the principal's office. Which means a call home to the parents as well. But kota was playing in class today. On the bus he and his buddy were cutting up and being silly, got carried away. Kota does have a temper,he gets it from his dad so my MIL tells me. lol Anyway, today two kids were picking on him and pushing him. They got caught but not before kota pushed them both down. So I think I need to work with him on how to deal with his anger. I can understand being angry when you are getting picked on but I want him to know he does not have to react with the same violence as is being shown to him. Now how do I do that? Might have to do some child pschology research on that topic. And frankly I want kota to get mad at bullies and NOT do what I did. Just be quiet and let them continue to bully. Because if you ignore them, they don't give up. They just keep on trying to get you. I dealt with from 6th grade till I finished high school. I never got beat up but I had to deal with some serious verbal abuse. And believe me, it takes a toll on your psyche. And you want to know why I was picked on? My bottom teeth overlap my top teeth. In order to have it fixed, they would have had to break my jaw. My mom has the same thing. So all through school I was called bulldog and other less savory names. I was barked out, had notes spread about me, got spit on. And my guidance counselor, her words of wisdom? 'Perhaps they are picking on you because they like you.' That was the last time I asked for help. Lets not forget my dad was also an alcoholic so it was hell at school and mostly hell at home. There was no safe place for me. So perhaps I go to easy on Kota. Because I see how sensitive he is, how sweet he can be and how now he is the target of mean kids. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. I do my best, I try my best. I sure don't have all the answers. I want my kid to grow up believing in himself, knowing he is intelligent, caring and oh so funny. I just love him with all my heart. Just like my older two. They may cause me pains at times but I am immensely proud of them. They are not perfect children, just as I am far from perfect. I know there are times I have been unfair or unreasonable. But I did what I thought was best at the time.
Wow, I really went off on a tangent there. But its a glimpse of a side of me you may not know. The insecure person who still remembers the hateful names, the constant fighting at home, the unpredictable life with an alcoholic.
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