Elfie33

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elfie33
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Elfie33
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Nashville, TN
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Life In The Boondocks

Entertainment > Humor > Talking Southern
 

Talking Southern


Most of you know that I'm from the south, so I thought I would help you understand me when I talk..so here goes:


Southern Talk


1. BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."


2. JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."


3. MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd
from him in munts."


4. IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"


5. RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my
brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."


6. ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."


7. FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my
pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."


8. Y'ALL -- noun. A degree of rotation.
Usage: "There are three degrees of Southern rotation: Pitch, Roll,and Y'all."


9. BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back
to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"


10. TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a
flat tar in my pickup truck."


11. TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to
see that Eifel Tire in Paris sometime."


12. HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."


13. RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."


14. TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."


15. RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."


16. LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."


17. FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."


18. DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."


19. EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"


20. BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


21. JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson
recently toured the University of Alabama?"


22. HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."


23. SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"


24. HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"


25. WARSH - verb. To clean.
SQUARSH - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten).
Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"



posted on Feb 24, 2008 9:31 AM ()

Comments:

How many of those I use is bad. No wonder I get strange looks...
comment by ekyprogressive on Feb 27, 2008 4:31 AM ()
comment by strider333 on Feb 24, 2008 7:49 PM ()
comment by nittineedles on Feb 24, 2008 6:43 PM ()
sounds like the Valadictorian speech at my high school graj-ay-shun.

reguards
yer all y'all hesh...ah'm tarred after warshing my deeshes pal
bugg
comment by honeybugg on Feb 24, 2008 3:44 PM ()
Love that avatar, Elfie!
comment by whereabouts on Feb 24, 2008 3:11 PM ()
Thanks for clearing that up lol
comment by lynnie on Feb 24, 2008 2:40 PM ()
nice!
comment by kristilyn3 on Feb 24, 2008 2:31 PM ()
ELFIE! I've missed you so much! Feel the big hug I'm sending you! Love the post!
comment by beabea on Feb 24, 2008 2:04 PM ()
MY Uncle Hollis, in Pulaski, TN, enlightened me about the rivalry that occurs between residents of TN and residents of AL. While visiting him once, I told him that I wanted to go Huntsville, AL. He smiled his slight, knowing smile and said, "Now Jim, when you go to Alabama, remember to set your watch back one hour and fifty years!"
comment by hayduke on Feb 24, 2008 1:43 PM ()
The first time I visited TN, I wanted to ship something back to CT via UPS. I walked into the convenience store that had UPS, presented the package I wanted to ship, and filled out the form. The woman behind the counter asked for my name and told her - James Hetrick. Her response was, "Well then, here you are Jimmy! Y'all have a fine day now!" I haven't been called "Jimmy" since I was 10.
comment by hayduke on Feb 24, 2008 1:40 PM ()
Hey, I just posted this. This must be getting around!
comment by teacherwoman on Feb 24, 2008 11:07 AM ()
Now y'awl listen to Effie!!!
comment by greatmartin on Feb 24, 2008 10:53 AM ()
Sounds just like my in-laws.. thar from south Jawjuh.
comment by looserobes on Feb 24, 2008 10:01 AM ()
comment by fredo on Feb 24, 2008 9:57 AM ()

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