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Southwestern Woman

Life & Events > Reflections on the Past

Reflections on the Past

I just learned that the love of my life died. He would have been 96
and I had not been in contact with him since 1983. We met in l953 and the thunderbolt struck us with full force. We were drawn together so strongly that neither of us had the power to resist.

It was not a comfortable love. It was a passion that I will never regret and kept us in contact for over 30 years. It evolved into
a loving friendship and I always knew he was there for me if I needed him.

Memory is a wonderful thing. I will always see him, just as he was when he was thirty. Blonde, blue eyed and handsome.

Now that I have outlived so many of my friends, I rely on memory to summon them up. June, Celeste, Ruth, and Avis were the women that I was closest to and I remember them with a smile. WE shared more laughter than tears because they could always see the funny side of a situation. These were friends of long duration. I don't have a lot of friendships but they endure for decades.

I have been accused of only living in the present but as I age I often delve into the past. Do you?

posted on Nov 28, 2018 3:13 PM ()


I didn't mean to overlook your loss ... I started out on the path of thinking of my own losses. It is distressing indeed to let go of a lost romance that was so intense. How come you were out of touch in recent years?
comment by tealstar on Dec 1, 2018 6:54 PM ()
We were out of touch because our lives took divergent paths, I would guess. As we get old our circles seem to narrow.
reply by elderjane on Dec 3, 2018 5:45 AM ()
My relatives and friends remaining are somewhat younger than I am. One is older. She was the sister of my first serious boyfriend, who died. She is 92 now. I spoke with her a day ago. Her family knows me as the missing member who never got to marry into the family. They seem fond of me on Facebook. I wish I could meet them. I miss my friends very much indeed and have their photos on my piano. There was a scene in a Shirley Temple movie, The Bluebird of Happiness, where, if Shirley thought of them, her grandparents would "wake up" from their sleep in Heaven. I like to think my friends are waking up as I think of them.
comment by tealstar on Dec 1, 2018 6:50 PM ()
That is such a nice thought. It would be lovely to believe in a heaven where loved ones are waiting. The older you get, the more people you have waiting for you.
reply by elderjane on Dec 3, 2018 5:48 AM ()
So sorry, Jeri.
comment by jerms on Nov 30, 2018 8:20 PM ()
So many friends gone and so many of my beloved family. I have an investment in heaven.
reply by elderjane on Dec 3, 2018 5:50 AM ()
That song: He Stopped Loving Her Today
comment by traveltales on Nov 29, 2018 4:38 PM ()
Please accept my warm sympathies, dear Jeri. May his memory and spirit always be a blessing. I hold my memories like I hold a large bouquet of flowers --- precious, beautiful, poignant. Thoughts and remembrances of my beloved ones keep me loving company every day.
comment by marta on Nov 29, 2018 8:56 AM ()
That is true. No one is truly lost if you have memories of their time with you.
reply by elderjane on Nov 29, 2018 3:02 PM ()
I goofed see the reply above Kristy.
comment by elderjane on Nov 29, 2018 1:50 AM ()
Thank you, Kristy. The worst loss of all was my son. It makes me wish that I had opted for more children. Linda is now my only child and could not be more loving and caring but we both miss her brother dreadfully.
comment by elderjane on Nov 29, 2018 1:50 AM ()
I think of the past way too much. Some good memories and some bad. I am trying to delve into my mom's past. She grew up in germany, she was born in 1927 so she was there during the war.
comment by elkhound on Nov 28, 2018 9:44 PM ()
She was a war bride. She had told us some stories but not the bad ones. Hitler was coming to their town and the SS came ahead of him. They were standing in a concrete pad and with all the weight it cracked. They all fell into the septic system. It's my favorite story
reply by elkhound on Nov 29, 2018 11:30 AM ()
I was l2 when our war with Germany was declared so I am sure your mother must have been old enough to remember the horror well. She would have been fourteen. Was she a war bride? So many of our boys came home with German brides, British brides and Asian brides.
reply by elderjane on Nov 29, 2018 1:45 AM ()
I delve into the past more than I should, but the kiddos keep me pretty much in the present.
That love sounds amazing, I’ve had a few of those uncomfortable loves! The passion!!! But with passion comes heartache it seems.
I’m sorry for your recent loss, and all the ones before.
comment by kristilyn3 on Nov 28, 2018 3:33 PM ()

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