My optimism has deserted me of late. Part of it is the culture we live in. I hate violence, racism and ignorance and it appears to be rife in this administration. It has reduced me to being hateful as well. I never dreamed that we would have children caged up without their parents and without thought to their psychological and social well being. I cannot fathom how our domestic terrorists can take out school children and kill people who do not worship as they do. I saw Nazis defeated once and here we are with that evil and cancerous growth sprouting again. We speak out and hope for change. Jose and I walked this morning at 6 a.m. and the roses are blooming, warm wind was blowing but it did little to change my mood. Usually the natural world is an instant happiness boost. Probably part of it is the fact that my favorite brother-in-law has developed a nasty cancer on top of his head. It is called Cutaneous lymphoma and the radiation and chemo are having a terrible effect on his brain. My sil is tiny and fragile and they live in a big house in the country where lawn mowing takes a whole day. Their daughters are very supportive but cannot do all that needs doing. I know firsthand about the care needed for an invalid husband who is not able to help around the house and I don't think Nova is as strong as I am. Sorry for being such a downer today. Somehow it helps to write about it.