I am not the optimistic person that I used to be. The pandemic, trump and severe pain have changed me into someone I do not know. the f word is no stranger to my conversation. I used to be described as being a lot of fun to be with but I assure you that the fun has all been wrung out of me. One of the major changes has been that I have limited mobility while waiting for knee revision surgery. I have to use a walker or the pain is unbearable. That, coupled with isolation is a killer. Only on rare days am I able to walk Jose. Politics and trump's lie about having a supply of vaccine after the assault on the capitol makes me lust for revenge. I was talking to my neighbor and we decided we have been in quarantine circumstances so long it has made us agoraphobic and staying home is the new norm. If I can't order it from the internet,no purchase is made. I need to go to Lowe's and finalize a purchase of a new dishwasher but just haven't gotten the vim and vigor to do it. I have been sending Tina (my visiting angel)out for groceries. She has had her vaccine. I am lucky, she is a good shopper and helps with the house work. I know that in many ways I am blessed. But it just does not feel good any more.