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Southwestern Woman

Home & Garden > Have You Changed?

Have You Changed?

I am not the optimistic person that I used to be. The pandemic, trump and severe pain have changed me into someone I do not know. the f word is no stranger to my conversation. I used to be described as being a lot of fun to be with but I assure you that the fun has all been wrung out of me. One of the major changes has been that I have limited mobility while waiting for knee revision surgery. I have to use a walker or the pain is unbearable. That, coupled with isolation is a killer. Only on rare days am I able to walk Jose. Politics and trump's lie about having a supply of vaccine after the assault on the capitol makes me lust for revenge. I was talking to my neighbor and we decided we have been in quarantine circumstances so long it has made us agoraphobic and staying home is the new norm. If I can't order it from the internet,no purchase is made. I need to go to Lowe's and finalize a purchase of a new dishwasher but just haven't gotten the vim and vigor to do it. I have been sending Tina (my visiting angel)out for groceries. She has had her vaccine. I am lucky, she is a good shopper and helps with the house work. I know that in many ways I am blessed. But it just does not feel good any more.

posted on Jan 16, 2021 6:59 AM ()


thank you for your kind words, John. I know you and donna keep busy which is a prescription for staying happy, It is hard to face that surgery...when it is possible to have elective surgery again because it means they have to remove the artificial knee and put in a new one with at least 8 weeks to follow of physical therapy. There are no shots in sightfor covid but I think I will be better when I have them and am not shut in the house like a hermit.

comment by elderjane on Jan 17, 2021 4:35 AM ()
I found my reply. For me there is no good time to have a knee replacement or I'd do it. Fortunately we're in a position to use oil and electric for heat at this time. Adding the weight of firewood to my own tonnage makes it almost beyond painful to carry wood into the house. In a few minutes I'll go to youtube to watch live the committee mtg to reorganize the police. Our governor cave each district a year to discuss. There are too many cops involved to be meaningful, I think, but I'll check it out.
reply by jjoohhnn on Jan 18, 2021 7:39 AM ()
You probably haven't changed, you're just hurting in multiple ways. It’s my belief that unrelenting pain — and frustration — are spirit-warping for most of us. But once the pain is relieved you’ll get a lift so dramatic you’ll feel happy, just to experience its absence. This is why I am very pro-pain relief.

You deserve to feel better right now. There seems no reason why a doctor should not help.

We also are surely starving for our normal social lives. Once in a great while I suddenly notice everything is awful and I’m terribly isolated, and I get upset. But most of the time I’m not even noticing, because it crept up so gradually. But we need our families and friends like oxygen. My sisters energize me, I’m so much better after hearing from them.
comment by drmaus on Jan 16, 2021 4:05 PM ()
I have talked to the doctor about the pain, it is unrelieved because my kidneys are shot and pain medication makes them worse. The walker helps immensely but I don't do handicapped well. Thanks for caring and for your soothing words.
reply by elderjane on Jan 17, 2021 4:29 AM ()
This is sad to read. I have always looked to you as an example of how to live long and prosper. I started to learn to live present about 20 years ago. I learned that thoughts and feeling can be mental clutter if they serve no practical purpose. I don't get upset about politics or anything else unless I plan to do something about the situation. Donna keeps us safe. I'm not reckless but I follow the science and try to remember to be as cautious as possible. But I'd like to go out more often even if it was only to shop. Aside from that, I have more to do in 24 hours than I can so there is no chance that I'll get bored. I was scheduled to have my knees injected with "chicken juice" on Wednesday but they called yesterday to reschedule. I'm on the cancellation list so hopefully something will come up before mid-February when the new appointment is scheduled for. The provider is only in town on Wednesday. I know you are resilient so hopefully things will flip for you! In the mean time, stay safe.
comment by jjoohhnn on Jan 16, 2021 12:11 PM ()

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