Today was the first day in more than I can remember that I did not have to go drop anyone off or pick anyone up or go to work or go to perform. So I did laundry...

This past weekend I was suppose to MC all weekend. I was ready. I wrote a five minute Christmas joke. Two hours before the first show I got the message that the feature comedian canceled. I would need to fill in with 20-30 minutes. I thought I could do it, but the world was working against me!

The fog was thick and NO ONE was out for the early show. We decided to go get something to eat. I ate a GIANT burrito. I never eat before a show and it just reminded me why as soon as I hit that stage.

I began to swell and I wore a pretty shirt without my usual sweater. THERE WAS NO WHERE TO HIDE! As if that was not enough, I had decided to wear some cute heels to match my cute shirt. I couldn't make a move on stage with out some damn clickity clack crap. I am a pacer on stage and now couldn't move.

I had to stand there still, swelling at an alarming rate, and I bombed...

I fell BAM on my face! Oh the pain... I sucked so bad that I blacked out part of it just to protect my own mental health.

I audience was hostile and I can tell you they wanted some good jokes and I all I had to offer was the first half of every bit I had, mysteriously I seemed to forget every single punch line.

Needless to say I went home very distraught. I have never done BAD on stage. When I arrived home, The man asked very enthused "HOW WAS IT?" I told him it was horrible and I don't want to talk about it. HE proceeded to stare at his feet out of fear. I went to the bathroom and cried for about 2 minutes then I came out to explain.

I had to go back Saturday to do it all over again for two more shows and thank God redeemed myself. I had on my sweater an empty stomach and my flats!

The early show was a little quiet, but I remembered all my bits and who cares what they thought I was committed to those jokes and I remembered every single one.

The second show, well they were liquored up and ready to laugh so we had a great time.

Now I have to get ready for my New Years 6:30 corporate show for a Retirement Home staff party. It should be ok even though there are a few red flags, like everyone just got off of work but are still at work for another company party. I have to perform a clean and funny act for over tired I need a drink crowd of people.

It should be a blast.