Like I was saying I have too many kids so I have switched to the Graveyard shift and actually leave the house at night. I LOVE IT!

The man and the kids all tucked it dreaming about rainbows and butterflies and me out and about, drinking coffee into the wee hours of the night, BSing with the other odd ball night workers.

I forgot that life still goes on after 11:00 pm. I was stuck in the same old routine night after night. I only seen the stars when I would sneak out for my occasional make out session with my beloved yet forbidden Newports.

Well we're free now! Me and the Newport's not only get to make out, but we get to hold hands ALL NIGHT LONG!

I know "DON'T SMOKE!" Well its the smokes or the f-ing cheesecake, one of the two needs to ease my pain of being away from my family. Oh the pain...

What else is going on? Oh yes have I ever told you that the man is very much like his mother? In almost every way it is a great thing. She is a great woman and I admire her very much, but since her and her son are so alike I can tell when she is trying to secretly and very nicely stick it to me.

I notice a few weeks ago at a wedding she got short with me. I think it was the first time ever. I was taken aback so I slowed down on the Margarita's because little did she know she was one more drink away from me saying "Look here so and so, am I going to have smack you like I smacked your son to make him act right? HUH?"

Just kidding, there is no smacking going down, but why lady? Why now? I guess I have done something that has rubbed her wrong. Can you believe that? ME? Not ME!

Maybe I did, I don't know. The next time she insults me, very nicely, I am going to ask what I have done to bring out this passive agressive candy wrapped attack.

I envy her tactics. I couldn't candy wrap an insult if my life depends on it. My attacks are full frontal in your face do you want to die assults.

There is never a quiestion of "Is she mad?" or the ever popular "Is there something wrong?" There is only the "Oh shit something is wrong and she is MAD! HIT THE DECK!"

I would like to be able to have covert anger. A sneaky snide yet sweet verbl slashing. A Betty Crocker battering that leaves you disturbed yet satisfied.

This post was brought to you by not enough sleep!