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This Oughta Be Good

Entertainment > Humor > Wednesday Funny - Ged Test
 

Wednesday Funny - Ged Test

You might have seen this before.

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination
These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U. (wtf!)

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas

Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head

posted on June 17, 2010 10:18 AM ()

Comments:

I pray that these were written by a comedian.
comment by jondude on June 18, 2010 4:55 AM ()
Appalling. Esp. when you realize these kids will be voting in a few years.
comment by tealstar on June 17, 2010 4:14 PM ()
Maybe. They will be eligible to vote anyway.
reply by troutbend on June 17, 2010 6:40 PM ()
Glad my kid didn't have to take a GED test. Ha!!!
comment by nenah on June 17, 2010 1:43 PM ()
That's the truth. We are getting ready to move Nenah's Bench out onto the river bank. The grass needs mowing where it sits and the bushes need pruning so there is a good view of the water.
reply by troutbend on June 17, 2010 6:42 PM ()
I like the one about the meaning of benign.
comment by elderjane on June 17, 2010 12:35 PM ()
Yes, I think that was my favorite, too.
reply by troutbend on June 17, 2010 6:42 PM ()
Yup, I've seen it before and it's still funny.
comment by nittineedles on June 17, 2010 11:11 AM ()
I'm a sucker for old jokes because my memory is short. It's fun, though, because I enjoy them every time.
reply by troutbend on June 17, 2010 6:42 PM ()
brilliant is right, creative answers...hope they were meant to be?
comment by anacoana on June 17, 2010 11:10 AM ()
I wonder how the answers would differ if they were a couple years older, probably even funnier.
reply by troutbend on June 17, 2010 6:44 PM ()
I loved now this is kind of test that I should be able to pass. Funny answers there but like kris says scary.
comment by fredo on June 17, 2010 11:08 AM ()
Our weather here has warmed up, Fredo. Hope your weather is nice now, too.
reply by troutbend on June 17, 2010 6:45 PM ()
These are always so funny... scary, but funny...
comment by kristilyn3 on June 17, 2010 10:33 AM ()
These are the people who get onto the TV quiz shows.
reply by troutbend on June 17, 2010 6:47 PM ()

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