There is a neat old building in the nearby town that was going to be torn down a couple of years ago, but now it is going to have new life as The Crunchy Grocer, a health-food store. It will be the first health food store in this small city, but there is a branch of Whole Foods Market in nearby Fort Collins, a college town.

When I first saw the announcement of the new store name, I thought it was a cute name because it evokes images of healthy salads and whole grains including granola.

Here is a definition of 'crunchy' from the Urban Dictionary:

"crunchy
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of 'granola.'
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

Several years ago I heard someone describing Coloradoans (I'm a fourth-generation native of this wonderful state) as 'granolas,' meaning the same thing as 'crunchy.' I'm not happy about this, because to me it's on step down the slippery slope to being lumped together with Californians.

Name some goofy, expensive law, and it started in California. For example, back when I worked for a building materials manufacturer we had to label some products: "This product is known to the state of California to cause cancer." Well, of course overexposure to components of the product were considered to cause cancer in every state, but California was the first to require that warning on packaging. I thought it was silly - why not just teach everyone in every state that formaldehyde off-gassing is bad for your health and not force manufacturers to get involved.

Anyhow, this isn't about politics, it's about a new shopping option coming to a town near me. Our non-college town is populated by a lot of old folks and red necks, so I hope enough of them are crunchy enough to support this store.