Some time ago I developed a friendship with the sister of my friend Steve, from my young days in New York. Steve was a good friend to Jay and me, a flamenco/classical guitarist with an interest in math and the sciences, a wonderful companion to Jay whose interests coincided. In E mails to Steve over the past 10 years I noticed his sister’s E mail address and wrote to her, thinking perhaps we had met. It turns out that was another sister but we continued E mailing because we found some common ground.

Feli applies the Feldenkrais method in a therapeutic practice on the West Coast. She and I have discussed ballet work and she feels (as I do) that it isn’t the best way to build a healthy body because its stresses are alien to most bodies. So I have tried to pick her brain about how to apply Feldenkrais to my workouts but she won’t divulge her secrets. Says she doesn’t like to offer suggestions unless she has the person as a patient and can assess them personally. She said I should try to find a Feldenkrais practice in my area.

I now find her repeated refusals (I have mentioned several times that I would appreciate her suggestions) irritating – after all, I am body smart in many ways. It’s hard to see how I can “misuse” what she tells me and I am not near her, so I can’t go to her. Anyway, I googled Feldenkrais in this area – Cape Coral, Fort Myers, and got a ton of hits on other therapies but no Feldy. Have I mentioned the dearth of opportunities in this area? Have I mentioned how incredibly backward this area is? Have I mentioned how if you do find something you are looking for it is 90 minutes away and there is only one? And yet my Neanderthal b.i.l. who feels it is important to defend this bastion of tattooed wonders, this hotbed of Sarah Palin devotees, keeps saying this area offers as much as New York City. Beautiful, yes, full of opportunity and intellectual ferment? NO. What a creep. Open any New York phone book and you will find at least ten of everything if not 100.

I have a lot of neck pain even after traditional therapy. I am working on my own after the therapy coverage ran out, to increase range of motion and I am slowly getting better. This is the kind of problem Feli works with. Her response was, I was remarkable in working with myself that so many people do not do but I also felt she was enjoying the fact that I did not know what she knows.

What, her give me a tip? No way. I wrote her that it would appear I am out of luck. So be it, I said. I hope she saw the irony in that, gentle as it is. That’s as antsy as I was prepared to get because, although I felt like telling her off, I didn’t. Why start something? In my E mail, I indulged myself with a few sarcastic remarks like “By all means protect yourself. Oh, wait, you are already doing that,” but then deleted them.

I am sure Miami (a 4 hour drive each way) has Feldy clinics but I don’t see us hopping down there every week to do this.

So I am snarling here because I don’t want to needlessly alienate her. At the same time, I now see her as someone I don't really need to know as well as I thought I did.

xx, Teal