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Performance Evaluations
While sorting stuff, I came across this newspaper clipping from a local shopper. Maybe I posted it a while back on Blogster. I can’t remember. But it sure is worth repeating.
These are actual quotes taken from employee performance evaluations. Debby Wood, a columnist for the Lee County Shopper, got them from a Cape Coral resident.
“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.â€
“I would not allow this employee to breed.â€
“This employee is really not so much a ‘has-been’, but more of a definite ‘won’t be’.
“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.â€
When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.â€
“This young lady has delusions of adequacy.â€
“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.â€
“This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.â€
“Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.â€
“A gross ignoramus. 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.â€
“He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.â€
“He’s been working with glue too much.â€
“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.â€
“When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.â€
“If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.â€
“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.â€
“Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.â€
“He’s got two brain cells; one is lost and the other is looking for it.â€
“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.â€
“If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.â€
“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.â€
“It’s hard to believe he beat out 1 million other sperm.â€
“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.â€
“Takes him two hours to watch ’60 Minutes’.â€
Xx, Teal
posted on Sept 8, 2008 2:56 PM ()
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