I have written on this subject before and discussed friends who are negative because the world doesn’t meet their expectations. They don’t meet their own expectations either, but, somehow, they do not dwell on those. Some, totally dysfunctional by now, see all the bad things that have happened to them, as being imposed on them by evil people/forces. They bear no responsibility for their choices. If I love them, I listen. That’s all I can do.

There is a perception generally that in world affairs, and most recently the failed attempt to down an airliner in the Midwest, tragedies, near misses, failures, are possible to totally prevent if only all politicians and their appointees and their systems, were perfect, as we all deserve them to be. But they are not and expecting them to be so is infantile, like hating your parents when you get to be a teenager because they aren’t cool.

I spoke with my first cousin recently, and, although not as bad as my childhood friend, P, she too considers all politicians self-serving and corrupt. It is so easy to blame bad things happening on politicians and to be negative. This is a simple explanation and requires no effort, examination of the facts, no analysis, no hard thinking, no careful judging of a particular situation that would require your time. We all want absolutes.

Of course, those responsible for lapses have to pay attention, correct omissions. It is not acceptable for information among agencies to take weeks before being shared. All these errors must be addressed. All we can do is keep chipping away at each effort with good will and determination. The human condition is imperfect. I wish people could get that.

Some years ago I wrote a poem about how our perfect God had messed up with me. If he loved me, I opined, I would have been taller, had better hair, a slightly longer neck and slightly hyper-extended legs (good for ballet). And I would have been stronger. Jay used to tease me that I was “the runt of the litter”. He said God put me on the wrong planet by mistake. That somewhere out there was a planet where things weren’t as rigorous as they are on Earth. And that the baby I was switched with, an aggressive, highly motivated achiever was languishing on this easier planet while I had to deal with this world. Well, tough s… on her, I am thinking. She should walk a mile in my shoes.

As for belief that God will fix things if you just have faith, I am thinking of the Stockholm Syndrome where the hostages (in this case, the devout) identify with their oppressor. I am not saying that prayer and good will do not help the individual. They do. But I consider this behavior more in the sense of self-affirmation and (as in The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale) if people believe they are being helped, it helps them cope. I am all in favor of that. But they and I just call it by different names.

xx, Teal