Things are rather desperate around here since the bail-out didn’t work (yes it impacts us directly) so here is some humor to get through the night with …

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of myorifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
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Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy

At an I.T. company in Bangalore, during work, Raman and Narayan were chatting:

Raman: Narayan, I've been attending night class for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.

Narayan: Oh!

Raman: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?

Narayan: No

Raman: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses, you would know this.

The next day, the same discussion took place:

Raman: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?

Narayan: No.
Raman: He's the author of 'The 3 Musketeers'. If you take night courses, you would know this.

The next day, once again:

Raman: And do you know who Jean Jacques Rousseau is?

Narayan: No

Raman: He's the author of 'Confessions', if you take night courses, you would know this.

This time, Narayan got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Balakrishnan Kuppuswamy?

Raman: No...

Narayan: Well, he's the guy screwing your wife!! If you stop taking night courses, you would know this.
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xx, Teal