I KNEW when I married my wife that she was left-handed but I married her anyway, just as she was marrying me despite the fact that I traveled around on a Triumph motorcycle. We all have our peccadillos. I think about this because I just learned that today was Left-handers Day. Everyone ought to have a Day, with a capital D, even southpaws.
One of my two daughters is also a lefty and she is as weird as her mother, plus she has reddish hair, which I suppose makes her a double-threat. I knew right from the start she was a lefty when she used that hand to shoot a bird at the doctor that forced her into this tough world.
Being right-handed, my left is practically useless. Back when I used to smoke cigarettes (I ended that dirty habit in '77), I could do that with either hand. I was an ambidextrous smoker, you might say. But since getting all healthy and all, I'm surprised my left hand hasn't withered and shriveled up, atrophied like a stunted, pointless appendage. I can't even use it to brush my hair, since I lost that wonderful head feature years ago. I'm lucky my wife didn't divorce me over that.
Being married to a left-handed woman has its disadvantages, to be sure. When she hangs things up in the closet, she hangs them backward, at least it seems that way to me. When we eat out, she always has to sit where no one is on her left so that arm is free to wield her eating utensil without the risk of knocking elbows. I don't know how she does it, frankly; it seems so awkward. Of course, she holds her pen oddly when she writes, as if it is a skill she learned despite herself.
But my wife is a thoughtful, unselfish person. Two winters ago, when she fell and broke her wrist, she had the forethought to break her RIGHT wrist, leaving her left free to accomplish things that I might have otherwise had to do for her. I thought that was damned swell of her. A week ago, she had to have surgery on one of her thumbs, which had ceased to function correctly and, you guessed it, it was on her right hand. I'm telling you, this woman is always thinking of my needs.