For the last 20 years that I've been directly or indirectly involved with my ex-husband, one thing has been consistent...

There is a HUGE family reunion that revolves around my ex-husbands ENTIRE family, on his Dad's side, every year. It is the exact same weekend each year, that being the weekend before Labor Day weekend. It's held in New York on odd years and in Michigan on even years.

When I was married to my ex-husband, I totally looked forward to these reunions. As I've stated before, I love my ex's family. I always got along with his cousins. I adore his Aunt's/Uncles. I still love all of his brother's and their wives. Each family "hosts" another family from out of town and vice versa when we'd travel to their state. It's a great big Irish family and the reunion weekend is basically a drunken food fest that lasts for 3 days. Someone always makes a complete A$$ of themselves (myself included), but it's just a really REALLY great time to be together with these wonderful people.


Well... since our divorce...that reunion weekend before Labor Day is ALWAYS my weekend with the kids.

Back in the good old days...

When my ex-husband and I got along well...

When I was still allowed to converse with my ex-husband...

BEFORE he married his horrible 2nd wife...

I would volunteer to switch my weekends with him so that our three kids could attend the reunions. As a matter of fact, there were years in a row that I didn't have my kids on Thanksgiving (by my own choice) because my ex-husband's family always had a huge get-together and I wanted my kids to have those holiday times with their cousins, grandparents and Aunt's/Uncles. (They don't do that anymore... because of all the tension between my ex-husband, his wife, his brothers, their wives... people just stopped going and eventually my ex-husband's Mom stopped trying, which is sad. Holidays with my ex's family used to be really fun)

Anyways... enter the giant Biotch... (ex-husband's 2nd wife)

And like most things that have been destroyed since her entrance into the family... so have the switching of weekends. For some C R A Z Y reason, my ex-husband uttered the stupid words of...

"I will never switch weekends with Terri again."

Huh??


What??

Never?? ... Is ... A ... long ... time ......

I seriously do not know why he ever said that. Oh wait... I do think there was one - ONE! time that I couldn't switch a weekend with him because it was Easter break and we were going out of town, but other than that, I swear to God, I would have "his" family information before he'd have it and I'd offer to do the switches just so the kids could be at his family members weddings, party's, milestone anniversary's, graduations, etc.

His new wife actually snubbed my generosity of always making the kids available for "HIS" stuff, by telling me to quit reminding my ex-husband about his own family affairs. "He's a big boy and doesn't need your help."

Really??

Oh...Ok!


But ever since he said he wouldn't switch weekends with me, EVEN if it were to benefit HIM, he still won't. Talk about SPITE. Or STUBBORN... Geesh! God, it reminds me of what a big baby he always was and sadly, still is...


Anyway, for the past 5 or 6 years now, my kids have NOT seen their relatives from New York due to the absurdity of the "NEVER" switching weekends rule. One of the New Yorker relatives, Mary, is my daughter Sara's Godmother. She is my ex-husbands first cousin and ironically "knew" I was going to divorce him before I did, (or before I was really ready to admit it). Mary and I were always extremely close and we still keep in contact via phone and email. Sara hasn't seen her Godmother in FOREVER.


What's really crazy now though is that my ex-husband and his wife no longer attend these reunions. My ex-husband's wife likes to drink and she has been crowned the winner of "making an A$$ of oneself" as she has done so more often than any other family member. And so for the last three or four years, my ex has either used me as an excuse as to why they can't attend and has now resorted to using my son's hockey draft as a reason he and his wife can't attend.

Big mistake!

Blaming me is a dumb move because my ex's brothers and their wives (as well as Sara's Godmother, Mary) know for a fact that I've emailed offers to my ex to switch weekends and also know that one of the years my ex used our son's hockey draft as an excuse not to attend, the kids and I were up north that whole weekend. My son didn't even go to the draft that year. DUH!

One year, at the reunion, when one of the cousins asked my ex-husband's wife where "the kids" were? She stupidly replied "Oh we couldn't get them from THEIR MOTHER."

Big mistake!

My ex-sister-in-law/BEST FRIEND was sitting at a table below horrid 2nd wife's eyesight and stood up to proclaim, "NO! that's not true. You didn't bother to ask her for them."

How embarrassing!

I hear the room got quiet and people just dispersed. Oh to be a fly on the wall...

I mean... I know it must suck for my ex-husband's 2nd wife to have to endure my seemingly constant presence in her life, but I'm pretty sure she knew that my ex-husband had a first wife and that we must have slept together a few times to produce the children that we share. Grow up already. Don't try to make me look like the bad guy. People who know me simply know that I'm not the bad guy. (Even my ex-husbands first lawyer said that I've always been the accommodating one and easy to work with.)

Anyways...

Fast forward to this years reunion ...

The reunion starts tomorrow at my ex-husband's brother's house with a party in the evening for "our" generation, meaning the older folks are partying somewhere else, tee hee. Mark and I (and the kids) have been invited to attend this party, but like in years past, we will probably not attend as it causes too much grief for the brother's and family members that still have contact with me. One year, my ex's brother had to "un-invite" Mark and I because my ex-husband threatened he wouldn't go to the party if we were there. Boo Hoo. Mark and I graciously bowed out and totally understood where poor John was coming from.

My ex-husband and his wife no longer go to the Friday night reunion parties either. The drunk 2nd wife made some ignorant comment about two lesbians staying at their house, in front of the sister of my ex's cousin who happens to be gay and who was staying at my ex's house with her partner and their children. (Those guests haven't been back to Michigan since that comment was made)

And one year my ex's second wife drunkenly stated how "thrilled" (insert extreme sarcasm) she was to have to work all week long only to have to rush home on Friday to clean her house because out of town guests were being forced upon her. It probably wouldn't have been such a horrendous thing to say had she not said it with her "guests" standing right behind her, as she tips up her 9th bottle of beer. (The chick's an idiot!) Those guests have never stayed with my ex-husband and his wife since that comment was made. Nobody stays with them anymore. Who'd want to draw that straw?


Anyhow... My daughter Sara wants to go to the reunion. She's 15. And she wants to go. So I have made arrangements with my ex-sister-in-law Beth to take Sara to the reunion and have my ex's Aunt, who lives around the corner from me, bring her home whenever the party ends. If my son wants to go, I'll make sure he gets to go too.


My daughter Sara overheard her Dad telling his Aunt (same Aunt that will bring Sara home to me) that "No, we won't be able to go to the reunion because Jake has a hockey draft and by the time we're done with all of that, it'll be too late to go." Blah blah BLAH! What a crock of crap. Jakes hockey draft is from 2:00pm - 3:00pm. The reunion starts at 4:00pm. And it's located within 3 miles from my ex-husband's house.

Yikes... that's not cool, lying to Auntie like that.

Good God!

Just tell the truth!


For once in your life, QUIT blaming someone else for what must be your PERSONAL EMBARRASSMENT as to why you're not attending YOUR OWN FAMILY reunion.

He's running out of people to blame. The truth shall set you free.

Just tell the truth!

Because if he doesn't ... Sara's presence there for the first time in 5 years... WILL undoubtedly reveal it. But... I think everybody already knows now anyway.

The truth always comes out in the end.