Over the last week or so I've found myself lying awake in bed for hours fretting over the STUPIDEST stuff. Ugh. I've been driving myself crazy!

I won't bore you with the details, but basically my list of remaining to-dos just keeps circling through my mind again and again and again. I wish I could spit it out like a stale piece of gum, and just be done with it. I get sick of listening to myself pour over every little thing... and yet they continue to keep me awake like a monotonous car alarm.

I've tried breathing exercises, but I find that I only exhale to the rhythm of RSVPs, maps, suitcases, and jet lag.

So, Monday morning I decided to put an end to all of this nonsense. I set some serious time aside to just sit down and meditate. I centered myself and then went over the first leg of our trip, excited for every second of our adventure. I let go of my worries about how we'll get here or there. After all, every corner we turn will be a new and wonderful experience. It's going to be such a whirlwind tour, I should stop worrying about what we might miss seeing, and just focus on what we will see -- because really, that's all that matters. This is our adventure to create as we feel... moment by moment, not monument by monument.

I felt good, really good. Better than I've felt in a while, just by allowing myself to let go...

Then I headed out to the mall for some retail therapy -- which was really just checking off a bunch of things from the never-ending to-do list. I hate to refer to shopping as a stress reliver, because I've never been one of those shop 'til you drop kind of girls, who thinks that buying stuff makes life better... but in my case, it was stuff that we do need. And so as I walked through the mall all afternoon, with each purchase, it was like I was lightening a little bit of my stress, as I lightened my wallet.

I started by picking up my "something old" necklace from the jewlery shop. J's grandfather gave it to his grandma and she passed it along to me... but then the clasp broke. While I was at the jewlery store, I bought J his wedding gift, a nice watch. Actually, the one watch that I thought J would love ended up being 50% off --YAY me!

Afterwards, I picked up a Western Europe phrase book that covers all the counties we'll be travelling to. I grabbed some melatonin to ease the jetlag. I bought some nice dress shoes (on sale!) to go with my wedding dress. Then some decent walking shoes that will actually look fine with a skirt instead of my bright white gym shoes. (Although I'm considering returning them, because how bad do I *really* need them? Do I need to wear a skirt on our trip. Pants should be fine...)

I really think that between meditating that morning and hacking my to-do list down to a manageable size that afternoon left me feeling virtually stress free.

Then yesterday J n' I had a few solid breakthroughs on our script, which lifted my spirits even higher. After working on the script, we went out and got our travel insurance... only $46 covers both of us for up to 5 million dollars coverage each. J n' I nearly fell off our chairs -- 5 million dollars? Holy crap! What would have to happen to someone that they'd need *that* much coverage?! I tried to imagine the possibilities but couldn't. Maybe if one of us has to stay in the hospital for 5 years, and they couldn't ship us back to Canada? Jeez...

The lady at the insurance company also told us that our current apartment insurance will cover the cost of any lost or stolen items. Cool. If I wasn't feeling relaxed before, I sure was by now!

Finally, the icing on the relaxation cake, I chatted with one of my best friends from back home last night. She'll be touring around Europe around the same time with another friend of mine. We are making plans to meet up for a picnic in Paris... of course, we read that there's a lot of dog poop in Paris, so I'm sure the reality won't be half as romantic as we envision it. Ha.

Anyhow, normally Heather plans every detail to death (like I find I've been doing for our trip.) However, for her month-long trip, she is flying by the seat of her pants. She's not booking anything in advance, except her hostel in Paris so we can be sure to hook up... She said, "I totally feel like I'm pulling a Melodie for this trip." Which made me laugh, because for our trip, I'm totally pulling a Heather. Sheesh, I even did a practice pack the other night... one of Heather's habits before any journey.

Talking with Heather, and realizing that I really am over-thinking things - which is so not like me - made me go from relaxed to just a pile of jello. I've been wound so tight these last few weeks (months?), it feels good to just let go, trust that everything is going to be fine - in fact, it'll be better than fine, it will be AMAZING - and simply enjoy the ride.

I slept like a baby last night.