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I though about this while I was doing the anniversary post the other day, so here is everything you need to know about the Cat Test.
OK, gents, It's no secret that we usually prefer dogs, and women usually prefer cats. So, cats have been used for many decades to test a woman's suitability as a partner. And now, with the popularity of on-line dating being the method of choice for meeting women these days, the "Cat Test" has been revised into an email version.
For you young guys who never actually met a woman the old fashioned way--in person--let me explain briefly the history of the old in-person cat test.
You would be on a first date with a woman, and casually lead the conversation in the direction of house pets. You would ask her what kind of animals she has, and what kind she likes. Keep the conversation on pets until she asks you if you like cats. Your correct answer in this case is "Oh yes--Chinese style, with hot sauce!" (A few slurping sounds can't hurt at this point either.)
If she starts looking mean, and says something like "how can you say something like that about a little kitty...": End the date quickly, and never communicate with her again. It's obvious that she takes things way to seriously, and has no sense of humor (same holds true for the slurping sounds).
Now, for the email version of the "Cat test". Choose your own appropriate opening lines and then use this text:
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her tom cat.
The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl says.
The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the tom cat's testicles.
"Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replies thoughtfully, ...
"You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Last time I used the email version, I got the following reply:
"That cat joke is adorable, My first comment is that only a girl would think of that one. My second comment is that I had it figured out before the little girl answered his question. I guess I better not ask you what that reveals about me. LOL My third comment is that, while I don't think there was any danger of peeing my pants, I give it at least an eight, and thank you for sharing!"
Needless to say, this woman passed with flying colors! And this woman happened to be Donna! She's still Ok with cat jokes and bodily noises, so I guess I did good!
Good luck dudes! And hey you!...Yeah you...the female....you can comment, I knew you were gonna read it no matter what the subject line said!
