Now there's a nice word! It most adequately describes my emotional state at this particular time in my life. I'm a pastor. I've been involved in ministry since I was sixteen. This is what I've always wanted to be, with the exception of the year or two that I thought being a heart surgeon or a teacher would be interesting. At any rate, here I am at thirty-three, still single and thinking that I would like to go back to being a church member and nothing more. The logical reasons are numerous and quite convincing:

* I could do so much more for the advancement of the Church if I could earn money and contribute to the various needs and projects that present themselves.
* I'd make an outstanding church member, since I've been a pastor and have known both sides of the Bible stand.
* Since the title "pastor" seems to put people on their guard (or least seems to put one in category all his own), being a "member" would make me more effective in personal evangelism.
* These days, people just don't respect or follow the advice of their spiritual leaders. So, why bother trying to tell people things they already know and that they are not interested in doing anyway?

I could go on and on, but I won't. All of these and other thoughts crowd my mind at times and often push me to the verge of making a hasty decision regarding my life work and "mission". Fortunately, these impulses are balanced by the memories of distinct moments in my life when I knew that this is my purpose in life and fulfilling it brings me more joy and satisfaction anything else could. These doubts are also assuaged by the realization that, despite the sometimes discouraging obstacles and setbacks, by the grace of God, I'm pulling it off. Our church is growing and lives are being changed by the power of the gospel. Although I am not entirely responsible for all of it, I have played my part. And I'm sure there are effects and results of which I still have not been made aware.

So, today we take the kiddies to the zoo, tomorrow, the youth to the lake and Wednesday we're back in church for another worship service and teaching. Thursday we have prayer in someone's home, Friday, a youth activity at the church and Saturday and Sunday, worship services and Sunday School. My life is full and I'm content. All this other stuff is just the vicissitudes of having taken the "road less traveled".