R.R.

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itsjustme
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R.R.
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Amsterdam,
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01/19
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Banking

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Itsjustme

Life & Events > Personals
 

Personals

Last week several bloggers wrote a more personal blog then they used to do. I always like reading these kind of posts cause I am always interested in whats going on in someone's mind. Most of the ones in my "friends" list write already rather personal, but some of them write mostly about certain subjects like TV, politics, nature and so. It always, well at least for me, feels good to get more info about the blogger himself.
I know, some bloggers dont want to "show" too much about themselves. I can understand that very well. You never know who will read your blogs here.
Some bloggers are writing very personal stuff. I just like reading that a lot (that definitely doesn't mean i dont like to read about certain subjects btw. I learn a lot here lol)
I sometimes wish I would be able, or should I say have the guts, to be more personal as well. I use to write superficial (hope thats the good word). I am a rather shy person which sometimes isnt easy to deal with. Internet gives you the possibility to talk with others rather deep, because of the anonymity. But how anonymous is it when you talk deep to e-friends here for a rather long time already.

What makes it that you start caring about certain people here? Sometimes I just want to say "hi" to e-friends, when I see they are online on yahoo or so. Sometimes I feel the need for txting them briefly, also just to say hi. I cant say its because I don't have friends in real life, cause I have some really good ones. Is it the "unknown", talking to persons you never met in real life? I know quite some personal things about some e-friends, things I wouldn't even share with my friends in real life ( all cause of the anonymity I guess). Subjects like relationships, sex and personal feelings are easy to share with e-friends. I cant imagine its only the anonymity of the Internet, there should be more.
Am I the only one who thinks that way? I wonder if there are others who think the same.

posted on June 17, 2008 7:35 AM ()

Comments:

Shyness is part of the reason for me as well, to not get into life stuff. That and as I mentioned to you before, I just don't have that exciting a life...
comment by ekyprogressive on June 19, 2008 7:16 AM ()
Anonymity is a major factor, I'm sure, but it's also the timing or the curcumstances, I think, that factor in. There may be some RL friends who know all about you and conversations can or could have gotten quite personal and honest...but, with RL, most come with families, work, school, and other elements that you know just as well first-hand as you know the friends. On line, you've never shared the actual school, job, families, etc. Although these things may have been mentioned, discussed, or written extensively about, it's still like one-on-one with an online friend, without the actual presence of any of those things. It, therefore, almost always feels more personal and private. Even in a group-type forum, it's still has a closed group feeling. Talk about those other things, but those things are not there at the meeting or during the conversation/email. Visit a friend and the kids are around, the time of day must be considered, etc. Take a lunch break with a friend, but it's to get out of the same office where your relationship includes all that the job (or place) is about. So, I think it's the "personal" touch, too.
comment by donnamarie on June 18, 2008 9:18 PM ()
Even if I am not a stranger, you have to admit I am a little strange!
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on June 17, 2008 4:17 PM ()
I have RL (real life) friends and I have online friends...they both serve different purposes in my life. I've never met anyone from my online life in person. It just feels to me like that part of my life is separate from my RL..but that's just me. I do have a few e-friends who are "older" gay men that I enjoy talking to. They understand what I'm going through..something my straight friends can't. I've trusted a few e-friends who I believed to be telling me the truth about themselves and I found out later that they were completely not who they said they were. Being myself with people is all I can be...both online and in RL. If people have issue with it, that's their problem.
Great post btw!
comment by mattguru18 on June 17, 2008 4:14 PM ()
Yes, I agree it is the anonymity that permits us to write sometimes very personal things, however, the reasons are not merely voyeristic. by learning abut the hopes, fears, desires and secret yearnings of others, we are more able to measure our own lives. it is a relief to know that someone else is having simlar thoughts, problems, and so on as us. we no longer feel we are the only ones like that. that's one reason there are so many gays -- it is very difficult for many gays to meet and chat honestly with others... and almost impossible to tell someone non-gay that you're gay. but here we can anounce it to the world without fear of losing our jobs or being spat on in the street. As for avatars... most people actually feel the age when they first became sexually active - around 16 to 18... and that feeling stays with them for the rest of their lives. it is a source of sadness to discover we no longer look like that, so a picture of what we looked like when we were that age is actually more truthful than a recent pic in some ways.
comment by clovis on June 17, 2008 3:25 PM ()
I don't think I could expose anything else about me as I feel I have told the good, the bad and the ugly about my whole life--oh yes--I talk very little, if any, about my sex in bed life--if you (or any one) wants to find out about that they have to come to my place and fin out about themselves!!
Of course not having family or worrying/caring what other poeple think, being beyond 'backmail' etc., it is easier for me to be 100% honest about who I am.
comment by greatmartin on June 17, 2008 9:39 AM ()
I think that jjoohhnn sums things up quite nicely. There is safety in the fact that we really are strangers even though we know so much about each other. It is really amazing. I feel very lucky to have many of the relationships I have made online.
AJ
comment by lunarhunk on June 17, 2008 9:30 AM ()
jjoohhnn says it all.
comment by fredo on June 17, 2008 9:12 AM ()
I think the phrase "in real life" sums up your feelings about online relationships. I have a history on RV forums--a lifestyle where it's not at all unusual to meet people first online and then in "real life". I prefer to read the blogs of folks who don't hide behind anonymity--those who post their true age, or use a real picture of themselves as an avatar. I also understand, however, that some people don't have the online experience to come right out and do this. There are also those with pasts who need to remain anonymous form former "real life" exes. As with most things in life, I guess it comes down to: "to each his own". Thoughtful post!
comment by jjoohhnn on June 17, 2008 8:16 AM ()

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