I also posted this one on another blogsite but to start with I thought it would be a nice one.

Am I addicted…… and if so, addicted to what? Well its bothering me sometimes, cause I really feel like being an addict. I always look forward to be able to spend some time behind the pc.How did it all happened I started blogging here, well that is quite a story. Till about 3 years ago I did not spent one minute on sites like this. I used to use my pc for my work, for the soccerclub (I do the membership-administration), for email and just occasionally for fun. I always liked working on the pc btw. Till about 3 years ago my life was as usual as anyone else’s. Married, 3 kids, a job, a house , a car … so just normal. There always were some “hidden” feelings and I think those feelings were bothering me more and more. I started surfing more and more and so I finished once on a chatroom site. I chatted about all kind of things and I must admit the chats weren’t very “deep” it was just about books and TV and so. Till I met a guy with whom it felt really good to talk. It started again with movie reviews, TV-programs but, I think I felt safe with him, we started to talk about feelings too. That also confused me cause I never had talked about my own feelings actually, I am really an introvert type. And now I started to allow myself more and more and admitted to myself I am not 100 % straight. The guy whom I constantly was talking to appeared to be gay but kept it secret to his family and most of his friends, so that was quite well-known for me. Finding someone with a same “problem” makes it talking easier too. Now I only can admit I just was lucky in meeting that guy cause I allowed myself more and more to have those feelings. He finally linked me to Blogster and that’s how I got here. I started blogging and I started to get addicted more and more. In that period I started to read blogs of Martin, AJ, Chris and Dale. And I must admit, Blogster is keeping me busy more and more. I regret it I am not a big writer (and I need to do it in English lol). In the same period I started chatting on Yahoo more and more as well. It felt good to share thoughts, and now I mean the really deeper thoughts, with others. I met some really great e-friends there to whom I still talk often (and good). One of them introduced me in another chatroom in which I moderate now for quite some time. I must admit another thing which I am addicted to now. Well when I started this post I had a complete different view for it. As some of you might understand I am still struggling with a lot of things, but I can manage. It feels good btw I wrote it down here.