Good Humpday, Blog Pals:

Well, as y'all have no doubt seen on the news the Powerball lotto jackpot is up to $500 million, yes that's MILLION DOlLARS. All the schmucks, patsies, suckers, embeciles, dupes, fools, numbnuts, and boneheads are trampling each other to get a chance at the dream. It's just stupid. One has more of a chance of getting struck by lightening on the second day of the blue moon that to win this thing. Anybody who throws good money down this dubious rat hole has an IQ and shoe size that are the same number.
Naturally me, my entire fam damily, and some here at Shady Pines have combined our resources and dived into the moron pool. We have purchased 20 chances at the elusive goal and I, as the head moron, was elected to go to the lotto store across the state line in Colorado(about 10 miles from Cow Snot)and pick up the winning numbahs. I went early but bid'ness was starting to pick up when I got there. Thankfully, I did not have to wait long but as I stood in line I kept thinking "Jesus, what a bunch of idiots" safe in the knowledge that there were no mirrors in sight.
As near as I can figure, with my limited math skills, if luck prevails, all of us will be in for about $15 million each...after Uncle Sugar takes a big, wet, bite out of it, of course. Hawaii here I come. I will be out of here so fast, there will be a hole shaped like me in the front door going out. Can you imagine never having to worry about anything ever again? Except for long, lost "relatives", bestest "friends" and old romances who, when you were poor, told you to drop dead, that will come creeping out of the woodwork. I guess I could learn to live with that for $15 million. I sit here and dream because, for all I know, I have the winning numbers right here in my cheetos encrusted little hands. If any of you hear a high pitched scream in the wee hours of tomorrow morning, you will know. It will be loud enough to be heard on both coasts. After which I will no doubt keel over from a heart attack before I can collect the big,cardboard check. That's just the way my luck runs.

Anyhoo, I leave you now to go look at pictures of condos in Honolulu and chalets in Lake Placid. Adieu for the nonce.

reguards
yer waitaminnit, I didn't match even one number? pal
bugg